If I Were to Forget You
by Iggymonster
Summary: Gilbert is dying. And he was the only one who would never forget Matthew, just as long as Matthew would never forget him. PruCan plus other implied pairings; angst; human names; AU/school based; yaoi and, of course, character death.
1. Finally Saving Me

**A/N: I really need to learn how to stick with just one story. I recently completed my first full length Hetalia story whilst beginning a new full length one and now here I am again beginning yet another one. So now I have to deal with the pressures of two multi chaptered stories...yay -_-**

**This idea sort of came to me after I went out on a sort of Prussia dies fanfiction hunt but I couldn't find any along the lines of this one, so I decided to write one of my own. During my search I found a lot of angsty PruCan stories, thus inspiring this. Most of it is just taken from my dreams, however.**

**The idea also stems from something I found on the Hetalia wikia about how Prussia could eventually die over time...I decided the time was now but most of it is taken from personal headcanon (basically what happens before a nation dies, blablabla).**

**I doubt this story will be as ADD/humorous as my others, so excuse me there. **

**DISCLAIMER: Last time I checked I sadly do not own Hetalia because some guy named Hidekaz Himaruya (lucky bitch) does. If I did own it then everyone would be at least bisexual and the episodes would be 10 minute long orgy sessions.**

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><p><em><span>If I Were to Forget You...<span>  
><em>_Chapter One – Finally Saving Me_

A single teardrop ran down, dropping onto the photograph in Matthew Williams' trembling hands. As he forced them to stay steady, more tears only fell before he was convulsing and the tears were running down like a waterfall, staining the valuable item in Matthew's hands.

It had been two months since he'd left.

Two months.

Matthew's heart still ached from the pain. He'd heard how time always helped to heal things, but he didn't know he was the exception there. His mind was still tainted with the memories, the time he had to say goodbye...

The last time he ever saw Gilbert Beilschmidt alive.

Matthew clutched the photograph tighter. As his vision started to blur, even with his glasses, the memories only grew stronger.

He tried biting his lip to stifle the tears, but to no avail.

The harder he stared at the photograph, the more painful it got for him.

He continued to observe it, ignoring the ache growing in his heart and how his throat hurt from all the tears. Matthew could remember the day the photo was taken almost perfectly. He could hear Gilbert's strong – but admittedly very obnoxious - German accent ringing in his ears as if Gilbert was right behind him, or at least next to him.

Ever since Gilbert left two months prior, Matthew had felt numb, so to feel the teardrops again was somewhat refreshing for him. It was as if a huge part of him either withered away or left with Gilbert, never to return.

Matthew still studied the picture, no matter how hard it hurt him to. In the image stood Matthew wrapped in Gilbert's warm, reassuring embrace. Gilbert had his head buried deep into Matthew's blonde, wavy locks and his arms tightly holding onto Matthew, looking almost as if he was scared to let go as if something horrible would happen to him.

Matthew wiped away the tears with his sleeves as best as he could. He sighed...or at least tried to. Because he'd been crying, his voice was shaky and it hurt to speak let alone just sigh.

He could still feel Gilbert's arms around him, clutching him ever so protectively, and he could still hear their conversation like it was yesterday. No. Like it was just a few minutes ago.

"_If you promise to never forget me, then I promise to never forget you." "Deal."_

The memories only made Matthew want to cry more and, before he knew it, the photograph was soon down by his side to save it from drowning in his tears. Matthew pulled his knees into his chest and he buried his head onto them, desperate to cry more, only it felt like all his tears had gone. Disappeared.

_Just like Gilbert..._

Only, Gilbert hadn't left for just a few weeks. Nor had he left for a few months.

Not even a few years.

Gilbert had left for an eternity. _For forever._

There was no chance of Gilbert ever returning.

And that's what killed Matthew the most.

* * *

><p>"Alfred!"<p>

There was no reply. Alfred was probably still in bed having slept past his alarm that was meant to have woken him up most likely an hour ago.

"...Alfred! For God's sake, answer me!"

With that, Matthew came down the stairs, fully dressed and fully prepared for another boring day at school. Another...depressing day at school.

"Ah, there you are!" Matthew's father, Arthur, impatiently tutted. "Your breakfast has been ready for the past-" Arthur looked down at his watch- "half an hour now, Alfred!"

Matthew blanched. "Dad, I'm not Alfred."

Arthur raised an eyebrow and flashed an incredulous look.

"What do you mean you're not Alfred, you silly boy?" Arthur laughed, seriously confused. If he wasn't Alfred, who else could he possibly be?

"Um...I'm Matthew," Matthew clarified in his normal quiet voice. No matter how many times he'd had to say that, it was still an embarrassing thing.

Arthur folded his arms. "Matthew? I don't know anyone called Matthew. Stop being stupid, Alfred, and just come get your brea-"

"I'm Matthew," Matthew repeated. "You know. Your son. Alfred's brother."

Arthur knew the name rang a bell, only he couldn't put the name to the face. His eyes darted around the room as he desperately tried to remember. He was pretty certain Alfred was just toying with him as usual.

Suddenly, Arthur remembered. "Ah. Matthew. Sorry about that. Anyway, could you tell your brother to get his lazy arse out of bed? His breakfast's been on the table for thirty minutes now and I'm running late for work."

Now it was Matthew's turn to raise an eyebrow.

"Um...what about my breakfast?" Matthew tentatively asked, mentally sighing as he knew what the answer was.

Arthur groaned and slapped himself.

"Ah...Matthew, I'm ever so sorry, but..." Arthur bit his lip to avoid further embarrassment.

Matthew let out a real sigh. "I get it. You forgot. Again."

"Yeah...I promise I won't forget tomorrow," Arthur lied. Matthew knew damn well Arthur would break his promise, because he always did. He always forgot to make Matthew breakfast.

He always forgot to take Matthew to appointments.

He always forgot to pick Matthew up from his hockey games.

He always forgot Matthew.

_Always. That promise was always broken._

"It's fine," Matthew lied back. He certainly didn't feel fine. Of course he didn't feel fine. "I'm capable of preparing my own breakfast, anyway."

With that, Matthew walked into the kitchen with his head down disappointedly, listening as Arthur ran up the stairs to go and attempt to wake up Alfred.

Alfred. Sometimes just the name was enough to give Matthew bad feelings in his stomach.

Alfred was the source of Matthew's woes. Each and every one of them could be directed back to Alfred somehow. Though personality-wise they were nothing alike, Matthew still managed to get mistaken for him, despite how many times he corrected the same people that he was Matthew, not Alfred.

But seeing as Matthew was just a shy Canadian teenage boy who kept to himself rather than his obnoxious American brother that everyone knew and somewhat loved people would shrug and say (and this is just an example of the polite people), 'Sorry, I don't know who you are.'

Matthew knew he only had time to make one of his special pancakes and thus got to work before he ran out of the precious time he had. A few minutes before it was done, Alfred came into the kitchen rubbing his eyes, hair in a mess and his hoodie on backwards.

It was evident Alfred had been up all night either playing video games or on Facebook talking to all his friends.

_Friends. _Matthew had none of them. He would never have admitted it but he always got jealous whenever Alfred would bring round a friend or even a girlfriend.

Whenever Matthew even passed by some of Alfred's friends (who obviously never recognised him despite meeting him plenty of times) in the school hallways he felt envious. Not a spiteful envious sort of feeling, but a type of sad envious feeling.

Matthew didn't comment on Alfred's poor attempt at dressing himself as he poured maple syrup all over his one pancake. Of course, he would have enjoyed a lot more, but he woke up a little later than usual. That was probably because he got barely any sleep thanks to Alfred next door who was playing music a lot louder than Matthew's ears were used to.

Alfred sat down in silence to eat his cooked breakfast and just stared at Matthew, who was sat opposite him, hungrily. Matthew was pretty sure he even saw some drool form in the corner of his idiot brother's mouth.

"Dude, you're so lucky," Alfred finished off the last of his breakfast in just a few seconds flat as he spoke, meaning Matthew had the ever so pleasant joy of watching Alfred chewing his food. Yeah, he really was lucky. "I have to eat this crap that dad cooked and you get pancakes. No fair."

Matthew rolled his eyes.

"I cooked my breakfast," Matthew stated. "If you did the same then you wouldn't be eating dad's meals."

Alfred got up and put his plate on the side without replying. It was obvious to Matthew that Alfred had gotten bored of the conversation the moment Matthew said 'I'.

Alfred walked out of the room, not caring for his appearance at all and straight out the front door. Matthew sighed and ran out of the kitchen, leaving his plate on the table by accident, grabbed his bag and opened the door as quickly as he humanly could in an effort to catch up with his brother.

Luckily, he did, and he managed to get to school on time.

He passed familiar faces as he walked through the school and to his locker to collect the books he would need for that day, and also passed familiar stares.

The stares practically screamed, 'New kid alert!'

Matthew wasn't even a new kid. He'd been attending the school for at least a year now, yet every time he walked into school he was often targeted because nobody recognised him.

Therefore he was obviously a new kid.

A new target.

Because of this misconception, Matthew was pushed around a lot in the halls. That day, he counted a grand total of five times...and that was just before lunch!

Some people listened to him as he explained how he wasn't a new kid, but others weren't convinced and only got Matthew into more troubles.

Because of Matthew's annoying resemblance to his brother, he was often mistaken for Alfred in the halls. That day, he counted a grand total of just three times. That wasn't much compared to one time where he was mistaken for Alfred at least twelve times.

Sometimes it was alright, like if Alfred's 'best friend' Kiku stopped and said 'hi'.

At first Matthew couldn't believe his luck when Kiku began speaking to him, only to hear the name Alfred and his happiness faded completely.

Kiku had politely apologised for his mistake and too promised that he would be more careful next time. He sounded just like Matthew's father, since Kiku kept forgetting as the days went by.

Other times it wasn't so good. Usually he'd get smacked by someone who had beef with Alfred because he'd pissed them off or threatened them. He still had a lot of bruises that he couldn't bear to look at because it reminded him too much of his problems.

The problems he wanted to forget so badly.

Because of Matthew's invisibility, he was often bumped into by accident, thus earning more bruises. As the school year went on, his sleeves only got longer to hide the ones inflicted by others...

And the ones inflicted by himself.

Now, he never took hoodies off. It was as if they had to be surgically removed to get it off of him. Matthew rarely went swimming and often hid in shame in the changing room, scared someone would ask about his scars. That was, until he remembered nobody cared about him enough to ask and nobody even realised he was there to care.

Matthew wasn't exactly depressed...but he was only about ninety eight percent sure he existed.

* * *

><p>"Stupid dad..." Matthew angrily muttered under his breath as he walked, kicking a stone as he did. His head was down as per usual and he was focused on this one stone. "Stupid Alfred..."<p>

His dad had once again forgotten him (so much for his petty little promise) and didn't wait around for him, instead leaving as soon as Alfred was in the car. He had tried leaving early so he could get in for once but it just didn't work...Alfred obviously skipped the end of last lesson, thus giving him a sort of head start.

Alfred skipped a lot of lessons. His grades were...eh. He never did his homework.

Matthew never skipped lessons. His grades were above average. He always did his homework and made sure it was in on time.

He never made the excuse, 'I forgot it.' Because he knew the meaning behind the word 'forgot'. The two syllable word was more than just a word to him. It was pretty much his definition.

As Matthew kept walking, grumbling to himself about nothing with his hands deep in his hoodie pockets, he passed three boys who he knew looked familiar.

They were at least one or two years older than him. Matthew knew they were a little rebellious but also popular. Girls flocked to be by their sides...but he'd heard a little rumour somewhere that one of them didn't swing that way.

He knew it wasn't the blonde French boy who would always wink at Matthew across the lunch hall. Well...he was questionable, but that didn't mean he didn't entirely swing that way. Matthew knew the boy well and, being Canadian, often conversed with him in French. His name was Francis and he slept with anything that moved.

Then there was the cute little Spanish boy. Matthew couldn't help but notice how out of place he looked compared to Francis and the other one. Matthew had heard from a kid in his class that his name was Antonio, and he was most likely straight. However the kid often called him a 'dirty fucking pervert who got too many kicks out of pulling my haircurl', whatever that meant.

And finally there was the other one, the one that completed the trio. Matthew knew his name all too well. He was infamous, notorious.

_And most likely the gay one. The fag._

Matthew was, for some reason he couldn't fathom, shaking as he entered their area, despite knowing full well he wouldn't be noticed. Especially not by those three. Maybe Francis would spot him and try to wave to him, but even he sometimes forgot who Matthew was.

With his head still down low, Matthew got closer and closer until he could hear their conversation a little.

When he was finally walking next to them, he could have sworn he felt their eyes boring into his back. No, that was impossible...

So, he brushed it off. They most certainly weren't looking at Matthew...were they?

"Hey, new kid."

Matthew's heart got noticeably faster in his chest when he heard a husky German accent come from behind him. He kept walking; pretty sure he was just imagining things.

"Oi. I'm calling you."

Matthew then knew that he _was _being called and thus turned to see them staring at him pretty intently.

He stared at them back for a while in disbelief, wanting to keep walking.

The one who had called him got closer to him, enough to make Matthew feel tiny and weak compared to him. He wasn't all too tall due to malnutrition but he still looked pretty intimidating and fierce. It must have been his German heritage.

"New kid," he nodded, thinking that was some sort of greeting.

Matthew wasn't sure how to reply. He wanted to correct him, but he didn't want to offend him and end up with a broken nose.

So, Matthew just nodded back.

Then, Francis stepped in to Matthew's defence. He probably just realised that he knew Matthew. Or only just remembered that Matthew existed.

"Now, Gilbert, mon petit Mathieu here isn't a new kid," Francis pulled his 'petit Mathieu' closer to him, wrapping his arms around his shoulders. Matthew felt very uncomfortable, but at the same time full of glee at the attention.

"M-Matthew?" Gilbert repeated, taken aback. "You know this kid?"

"Oui," Francis smiled, holding Matthew tighter to him. Matthew tried to pull away but he failed miserably. "He's a year younger than us. Cute, non?"

Matthew whimpered, "Please let me go." He knew there was no way in Hell Francis would have heard him, but it was worth a shot.

"Very..." Gilbert whispered. Then he realised his mistake. "I-I mean...pfft, Francis, why the hell are you hanging around with younger kids? Paedophile."

Matthew whimpered again, repeating what he had just said, this time being heard. Francis let go sadly and looked back at Gilbert, who was creepily staring at Matthew, trying to capture everything about the boy.

The boy everyone forgot.

Who was the paedophile now?

"A-Anyway," Matthew cleared his throat, trying to speak up in order to be heard by Gilbert. Gilbert seemed to be paying enough attention...for him, anyway. "May I ask why you called me over?"

Gilbert forgot the actual reason. Or rather...he didn't want to say it. If he was the homosexual one, then he must have still been in the closet.

Then he came up with a good enough reason that was convincing.

"Ah...Francis wanted to say hi."

Gilbert winked at Francis, urging him to play along.

Francis got the idea and looked down at Matthew, smiling warmly.

"And now that he has..." Gilbert slung his arm around Francis and started pulling him away from Matthew and back to Antonio, who had just been watching quietly. "We can go. Right?"

Francis nodded. "Right. Au revoir, Mathieu."

"Au revoir," Matthew waved sadly, his eyes immediately darting straight back down to the ground.

Gilbert stupidly caught Matthew looking upset and couldn't resist how endearing he looked.

"Um...M-Matthew?"

"Oui?"

"Do you...do you want to stay with us for a little while?"

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Wow, I wasn't expecting it to be this long. This was just the introduction, so the sadder bit shall come in later! **

**I really enjoyed writing this and I'm actually going to be excited about updating. I love how my favourite ideas stem from dreams...my previous story, the one I recently completed, came from a dream of mine. This, too, came partly from my dreams. I have dreams of Prussia dying. :( My mind is so sad**

**Sorry for any grammar mistakes. It's about 1am and I don't know if what I just wrote was coherent or not. **

**I'd really appreciate feedback! Reviews are my favourite things ever. I love them more than I love Titanic, and I love Titanic A LOT. XD**

**See you all next chapter! Hasta La Pasta~!**


	2. The Best Part of Me is You

**A/N: Thanks for the feedback so far, guys! Wow, I've never updated this quick before...I just really had to update. I loved writing the first chapter too much.**

**Thankfully, it's the evening here in Iggyland and it hopefully should be more coherent (reading it back, it wasn't all too bad) because it's not 1am XD**

**Please keep the feedback coming! I'd really appreciate it. I'll give you all my cookies. And my vital regions. Here. Take them both. Please take good care of my vital regions though, they're vital for a reason.**

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own Hetalia because Hidekaz Himaruya does. If I did own Hetalia, then America and England wouldn't have sexual tensions, they'd have full blown sex instead.**

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><p><em>Chapter Two – The Best Part of Me is You<em>

Matthew held onto his teddy bear in bed that night, the tears turning his white fur a dirty grey colour. It wasn't the first time Matthew had found himself crying into the bear, vulnerable and so alone.

Just as Matthew was growing accustomed to the solitude, Alfred barged through the door with no regards to Matthew's personal privacy. It was nice to be remembered, of course, but if it meant his annoying brother had to just sway in like Matthew didn't care then it wasn't a nice thing at all.

Matthew quickly wiped away the tears the best he could and cleared his throat, hoping his voice wouldn't shake as he knew Alfred wanted something that would require Matthew to speak.

Alfred was oblivious to the fact that Matthew had been releasing his despair through tears and instead started fumbling around with Matthew's items on his desk without permission. Matthew stared at him before finding his voice.

"Um..." Matthew called out, his voice weaker than usual. He knew that speaking more would only release his tears, but nevertheless he continued in case Alfred didn't hear him. "What are you doing?"

Alfred jumped at the strange voice and turned around on impulse. It took a while for his blue eyes to meet Matthew's violet ones. When he finally did realise Matthew, he sighed with relief.

"Oh...Mattie, I didn't see you there," Alfred lamely explained, still searching around Matthew's desk, completely ignoring the fact Matthew had just caught him. "Anyway, I need some money. You get any?"

Matthew bit his lip, so desperate to cry again at the ignorance coming from his brother.

"N-No," Matthew answered. He was lying – he had a secret money stash in the drawer of his desk that he had a key for to make sure his brother didn't steal it. "A-Ask dad f-for some."

Matthew felt stupid over how much his voice was shaking, and in between syllables he would hiccup on accident. Alfred wasn't that big of an idiot not to notice, and instead sympathetically walked over and sat on the bed next to him.

Alfred held Matthew tight, pulling him into his chest. The intimate contact impulsively made Matthew burst into more tears. Matthew clutched Alfred's shirt, feeling embarrassed at the sudden display of emotion.

Alfred had never seen his brother cry so much. It almost hurt him, making him want to cry as well.

"Dude, what's up?" Alfred asked. He couldn't have been more insensitive if he tried.

Matthew couldn't reply; he was far too busy crying.

Alfred was aware that Gilbert had passed on two months ago – he could not have, it was all over the school. He and Gilbert weren't necessarily friends but they had been acquainted, only they had two very large egos, thus making it potentially dangerous for them to socialise with each other.

Alfred didn't care much for his brother's social life or, more likely, didn't even know he had one, thus he didn't exactly know why Matthew was crying or why he was so affected. He'd seen Gilbert hang around him a couple of times, plus Gilbert had stayed over the house plenty of times, but he didn't think anything was suspicious about their friendship.

Friendship was an understatement. Matthew was ninety nine point nine percent sure he _loved _Gilbert in every way possible. That was one point nine percent more than the ninety eight percent chance he actually existed.

When Matthew finally caught enough breath to be able to speak, he pulled away and looked up into his brother's eyes, wanting to hold onto him forever and just cry his heart out.

"G-Gilbert..." he whispered, as if it explained everything. Alfred raised an eyebrow, not comprehending at all. "I...I m-miss him."

Alfred bit down on his lip, knowing he wouldn't be able to calm his brother down nor offer him any sympathies. He'd held him tight...surely that was enough to cover it? Would it be alright if he just walked out now?

Instead, Alfred hugged him again and whispered back, "I know."

Of course, he didn't know. He wasn't aware of just how much Matthew missed Gilbert.

"I w-want h-him back," Matthew continued, his words muffled thanks to Alfred's shirt, which most likely was going to end up stained with Matthew's hot tears. "I can s-still remember the d-day we m-met p-properly."

* * *

><p>Matthew stared down at the cigarette in Gilbert's hand.<p>

"I'm sorry, I don't smoke," Matthew declined the cigarette, pushing it away.

Gilbert raised an eyebrow and was about to reply before closing his mouth, not wanting to argue with Matthew. Judging by how Matthew's clothes hung off of him, Gilbert decided that Matthew was the type who looked after himself.

Gilbert shrugged and lit the cigarette, putting it in his own mouth.

_What am I getting into? _Matthew asked himself, knowing full well it was a bad idea to be hanging around with this group.

He half trusted Francis, although he didn't exactly know why. Probably because Francis lived by the words of 'make love, not war'. Literally.

Matthew wasn't wary of Antonio, either. He seemed like a sweet enough kid that was always smiling. All through the duration of Matthew being with the trio, Antonio was laughing and smiling at Matthew, somehow making Matthew feel a lot less stressed and a lot less forgotten.

Gilbert nudged Francis as discreetly as he could, taking the cigarette out of his mouth.

"Hey, I like this kid," Gilbert whispered. Francis nodded in agreement.

"Oui, he is quite the sweetheart," Francis replied in a (somewhat) quiet voice, all the while looking at Matthew. Matthew had his head down again, his eyes fixated on the ground and it was obvious he looked a bit awkward and uncomfortable to be there.

"Antonio," Francis yelled, although Antonio wasn't that far away, "Are you coming back with me tonight?"

Antonio's smile grew wider – if that was possible, which it probably wasn't – and his emerald eyes sparkled with delight.

"Si!" Antonio replied, running over to Francis and grabbing his arm. "What's for dinner, amigo?"

Francis thought for a moment. "Well, mes parents aren't in tonight, so I shall be cooking."

Antonio hugged Francis in a moment of over-zealousness.

"Yay!" he squealed. "Your cooking is the best!"

Francis smirked arrogantly, resembling that of Gilbert, who was still entranced by how endearing Matthew was.

"Merci," Francis thanked, looking at his watch. "Gil, cher...it's past four now, I have to get going."

Gilbert took out his cigarette completely having finished it and threw it on the ground, stamping on it.

"Yeah...sure," Gilbert said huskily. "See you both tomorrow."

Antonio and Francis walked off together, their arms still linked together. Another group like their one that saw them shouted offensive terms at them, although they weren't what they called them.

When Matthew and Gilbert both heard the word 'fag' get shouted, they both went as red as a tomato. Matthew had no idea why he felt so embarrassed...it wasn't like he was a fag. At least he hoped he wasn't.

Not that was a bad thing, but because it'd just make his sad life more confusing than it needed to be.

Gilbert moved his mouth around awkwardly before lifting Matthew's head up by his chin in order to make eye contact with him. Gilbert wanted to look at his gorgeous violet eyes once more, not the top of his head.

Once Matthew's gaze met Gilbert's, he couldn't help but be astounded by the fact that Gilbert had unnatural coloured eyes. They were red, not something he had seen before.

Plus his hair was platinum blonde, which meant that couldn't possibly be natural either. Matthew thought of the possibility of Gilbert being an albino, which was the only logical explanation, but still was incredulous about his red eyes.

Matthew already knew Gilbert was a strange boy.

"Soo..." Gilbert began, a desperate attempt to break the awkward atmosphere surrounding them both.

Matthew hummed to himself, his eyes meeting the floor again as he bit his lower lip lightly.

Gilbert sighed, knowing his second attempt to keep Matthew's eyes in the right place would just fail.

"Um...Mattie, do you want a ride home?" Gilbert lamely asked. He'd never been so selfless before...so why the hell had he begun now?

"That'd be nice," Matthew replied politely, knowing there was no other way he was going to get home in time for dinner.

Gilbert motioned for Matthew to follow him as he walked back into the school to retrieve his car. He had a car...surely that was enough to spell trouble for Matthew? Or maybe it was a sign of maturity and Gilbert was a lot more mature than perceived to be? Who knew?

Matthew got into the front passenger seat, putting his seatbelt on, before admiring the car. It was a pretty awesome car to say the least. It smelt exactly like a new car did, which implied that the car was pretty recently bought.

Matthew honestly could not wait to get his own car. It would make his life a lot easier for him and he wouldn't have to make his father drive him around.

"This is your car?" Matthew stupidly asked, feeling the leather seat underneath him.

Gilbert smirked at him as he pulled out of where he was parked, trying to stay focused on the rear view mirror. "Nah, I stole it."

Matthew's heart raced. So he _was_ trouble...

"Stole it?" Matthew repeated in disbelief. "How could you do such a thing? That's outra"-

"Relax, relax, I'm just kidding," Gilbert cut him off, laughing at his mistake. "You're so gullible."

Matthew blanched, realising his own stupidity.

"O-Oh..." was all Matthew could say as he looked down at his lap. "It's a nice car."

"Danke," Gilbert thanked him, accidentally slipping into his native tongue, something he did too often around people he lik...respected and admired a lot. "It _is _pretty awesome. My bruder got it for me."

Again, slipping into German. Hopefully Matthew wouldn't notice...German was close to English anyway...

"Your...your bruder?" Matthew asked shyly, not fully understanding.

"Yeah, I meant my _brother,_" Gilbert corrected himself, mentally face palming. "Sorry. Sometimes I forget others aren't German."

Matthew could tell Gilbert was German thanks to his conspicuous accent, but played dumb in order to enhance the conversation.

"Oh, you're German?" Matthew stated, although the way he said it made it sound more like a question than a matter of fact. "This school is so full of foreign people, haha."

Gilbert smirked, not feeling offended at all.

"Yeah, I'm German," Gilbert responded, still smirking and managing to keep his eyes on the road. "Oh and by the way, I forgot to ask you where you live."

"Sorry...I live just a few mo-"

"Nah, doesn't matter now, come back with me," Gilbert interrupted. Matthew was too polite and shy to say he wanted to go home so instead he nodded, sealing his fate.

"Um," Matthew's eyes darted around the car as he tried to think of how to start a new conversation or at least finish the first one. "So...what part of Germany are you from?"

"Brandenburg," Gilbert bluntly replied, trying to stay concentrated despite how cute little Matthew was. "I consider myself to be more Prussian than German. Prussians are more awesome."

Matthew smiled at the response, despite having limited knowledge of Prussian history. But he did know in Canada there was a place called New Prussia...maybe that was why he smiled. It reminded him of home.

"My bruder considers himself to be more German, though," Gilbert continued, not realising he said 'bruder' again. "He thinks Prussians aren't awesome."

Matthew let out a small 'oh' and fidgeted with his fingers uncomfortably. Every time Gilbert wasn't speaking, it just felt awkward.

"So, where are you from?" Gilbert asked, now making his attempt at keeping the conversation alive. "France, huh?"

Matthew bit his lip.

"No...Canada," Matthew felt bad for having to correct him, but was sure Gilbert wouldn't get offended easily.

"Ah," Gilbert replied. "I was wondering how you and Francis speak to each other in French."

"I'm not French, just Canadian," Matthew repeated. One side of his mind wanted to crack a 'do you really think I'm a pervert?' joke, but the other side overpowered him and instead made him say, "And Francis sometimes forgets who I am, just like the others."

It soon dawned on him what he had said. Instead of mentally face palming himself, he did it literally.

_Stupid Canadian... _he grumbled to himself. _Stupid, stupid, stupid!_

"What?" Gilbert asked, bemused. Matthew wasn't sure if it was because Gilbert had heard or not. "What do you mean by that?"

Matthew sunk down into his seat, mortified. He honestly could not believe what he had just let slip. It was such a personal thing to him...and yet he felt so comfortable telling Gilbert his troubles.

"Oh...n-nothing," Matthew lied, keeping his head down. "Don't worry."

Gilbert stayed silent. Though Matthew told him to not worry, he was doing the exact opposite.

* * *

><p>"Well, we're here."<p>

Thankfully for Matthew, the drive didn't last much longer and before he knew it they were at Gilbert's house. The rest of the ride had been silent thanks to Matthew's awkward outburst so he was just glad it was over.

The house was relatively large, large enough for Gilbert and his family, and wasn't all too scary. Flowers surrounded the front door, adding some bright colour to contrast with the darkness Matthew felt inside.

Gilbert fumbled with the keys as he tried to open the front door. He noticed Matthew staring at the flowers, which made Gilbert's cheeks burn as much as he didn't want them too.

"Um...t-they're not mine," Gilbert informed Matthew, hoping to restore his masculinity. He found himself having to do that a lot thanks to the homosexual rumours. "Mutti has a thing for flowers."

Matthew giggled. This made Gilbert feel more faint inside because of how freaking adorable Matthew sounded when he giggled.

"I know," Matthew answered, waiting patiently for Gilbert to finally open the door...it was growing colder, he was hungry and the sun was beginning to go down. "My dad has a whole garden full of flowers, so I can totally relate."

Gilbert finally forced open the door, startling Matthew a little bit, and gestured for Matthew to walk inside before him. Matthew walked forward and into the hall.

The hall was very welcoming, with floral wallpaper. A scent was emitting from the kitchen nearby that only warmed Matthew's heart more. Gilbert shut the door behind him and stepped beside Matthew.

"Ah...mutti's making dinner," Gilbert informed him, stating the obvious. Matthew smiled, only growing more hungry.

"Will it be done soon?" Matthew asked as politely as he could.

Gilbert hummed. "I guess. I'll ask."

Matthew followed Gilbert silently, feeling like he had to be introduced to his 'mutti'. Matthew didn't exactly know what that meant, but he had a feeling it was German for 'mother', only more affectionate.

Matthew could definitely tell that Gilbert was secretly a mummy's boy.

As they stepped into the kitchen to be met by a stronger scent than the one in the hall, Matthew couldn't help but 'mm' approvingly. Luckily for him, he was a very quiet person and Gilbert's mutti didn't hear him.

Gilbert cleared his throat in order for his mutti to turn around and notice him. His effort was successful.

"Gilbert! Had a nice day at school?" she showed an over display of affection as she run over to him, completely forgetting about her cooking duties, and hugged him, much to his dismay. Gilbert blushed, feeling too stupid in front of Matthew to hug her back.

"Yeah," Gilbert bluntly replied.

"Is something wrong?" she pulled away, her tone suddenly a much more worried one. "You always hug me back! Has someone hurt you?"

Gilbert blushed harder and closed one eye. Matthew giggled at how vulnerable Gilbert had suddenly gotten, finding it very entertaining but at the same time heart breaking.

Matthew's biological mother left him years ago, when he was still a small little child who could barely walk let alone speak. He was split from his brother and spent most of his childhood in Canada before being reunited with Alfred with Arthur, their new father. Sadly, Arthur didn't have a living wife or partner, which Matthew was hoping for, because she had abruptly passed away a few months into the adoption process.

In short, Matthew was jealous of Gilbert because he had never had a mother before.

"Um, no," Gilbert quickly answered. "We have company."

He pointed to Matthew who waved shyly. It took Gilbert's mutti to notice him.

"Oh, hallo!" she greeted, smiling. "I didn't notice you there, sweetie! Aww, Gil, he's so cute! What's your name?"

"I-I'm Matthew," Matthew stuttered, looking down at the ground again, although he knew that was impolite. "Nice to meet you."

Gilbert soon changed the subject, seeing as he was fond of food rather than people.

"Mutti, what's dinner?" Gilbert asked, taking in the scent for himself as he took a look at the boiling water.

"Ludwig insisted we made pasta," his mutti informed Gilbert. Gilbert raised an eyebrow. Since when did Ludwig eat pasta? Then, it dawned on him.

"Oh, is Feliciano here?" Gilbert asked, although it was obvious what the answer was.

"Mhmm," his mutti replied. "Well...Ludwig isn't home yet, but he said Feliciano would be round tonight."

Matthew had heard of the names Feliciano and Ludwig before, but he was now the one who couldn't remember their faces.

He was guessing that Ludwig was the younger 'bruder' of Gilbert, which made sense, seeing as Matthew remembered very vaguely a German kid called Ludwig that he often saw with Gilbert on Facebook photos of parties Matthew was never invited to.

"So it'll take a while, then?" Gilbert asked, starting to feel the hunger himself.

"Ja," his mutti confirmed, going back to her cooking.

Gilbert turned back to Matthew and led him out of the kitchen, careful not to damage him because of how fragile he looked.

* * *

><p>Gilbert opened the door to his room melodramatically, turning on the light to reveal a surprisingly tidy room. Well, the corner by his desk wasn't very tidy and the bin in the same area was over flowering with paper and energy drink cans.<p>

Matthew walked in and sat on the bed, bouncing up and down, making a mental note of how comfortable it was. Gilbert closed the door behind him and sat down next to him, flashing him a 'what-the-fuck' type of face before joining in.

Matthew stopped because he was in fits of giggles, causing Gilbert to stop completely too. They looked at each other, very nervously at first before falling backwards in laughter.

Matthew had never felt so happy before. He'd never felt so alive.

He'd never felt so loved. So remembered.

The sound of his own laughter was almost foreign to him.

"So, what'd you think of my room?" Gilbert asked, smirking arrogantly. "It's pretty awesome, isn't it?"

"Yeah," Matthew agreed, though he wasn't sure if 'awesome' was the right word to describe it. He then noticed the giant Prussian flag – he was guessing it was Prussian, anyway – taking up most of his wall space.

Next to the Prussian flag was a big picture of a man Matthew didn't recognise. He looked pretty noble, too noble to be a family member.

Matthew walked over to it without controlling himself to look at it better.

"Who's this?" Matthew asked, pointing to it.

Gilbert sat up to see what Matthew was pointing to. Immediately, he walked over and bit his lower lip.

He put his hand on Matthew's shoulder.

"That's Father Fritz," he explained. "He's awesome. Almost as awesome as me!"

Matthew sighed...ah, yeah, Gilbert was egotistical. Maybe more egotistical than Alfred.

"How come you've got a picture of him?" Matthew wanted Gilbert to go deeper. He found himself for some reason wanting to know everything about Gilbert, seeing as he was so...enigmatic. So...elusive.

"Uh...he was a Prussian leader," Gilbert's voice was starting to become more husky. It was sounding less threatening and more weak and unstable. It was like he wanted to cry. "He's watching over me. Please don't talk about him anymore."

_So he gets depressed if someone brings Father Fritz up..._Matthew thought, hoping he was right.

"Okay," Matthew simply agreed. "I really appreciate this, by the way."

Gilbert raised an eyebrow, shooting him a confused look.

"W-Why?" Gilbert enquired, not sure why Matthew appreciated it.

"Sit d-down," Matthew's voice was now shaking as he said the instruction.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: That took me two hours. T_T**

**I am so enjoying this so far. Sorry that it's very long, I'm just getting a bit carried away. **

**Lol at my random Matthew back story and the contradicting personality of Gilbert's 'mutti' XD**

**Reviews are so welcome but I appreciate story alerts and favourites, too *insert heart* Go on. It took me two hours. Respect me, da? ^-^**

**I don't know if further updates will be this quick. Hopefully they should.**

**Hasta La Pasta~!**


	3. Nameless to Everyone Else

**A/N: Ugh my laptop is being such a whore -_- She's lagging oh so much and her fan is a huge attention whore. It's all like, BHHFHHacknowledgeme**

**My beautiful readers – show your faces! I am so disappointed with the lack of reviews :( I'll be your best friend! Even if you just review anonymously or about something really irrelevant like how much you love pancake cookies made by the bears of Sealand. I am heartbroken now and I will cry myself to sleep.**

**Anyway...I'm going to be inside Antonio on Saturday. Last year I was right in the vital region XD This time I'm inside his trousers. Inside his tight trousers. –Drools- LOVINO IS JEALOUS**

**DISCLAIMER: I just checked. I am not Hidekaz Himaruya, much to my dismay. If I was, then Denmark and Norway would be in it more and they would sex each other up all night.**

* * *

><p><em>Chapter Three – Nameless to Everyone Else<em>

By now, Matthew was holding onto Alfred tightly like he was too frightened to let go, sharing his story despite being certain Alfred had stopped listening the moment he first spoke.

Surprisingly enough, Alfred _was _listening, at least attempting to take heed in his brother's misery. It still intrigued him to see his brother, who was quite the introvert, pour out every feeling in his heart.

Although Alfred was easily bored and distracted, especially by Matthew, listening to Matthew's monologue was actually kind of...fun. Fun in an interesting way. The way Matthew told Alfred about his first memory of Gilbert made it sound like he was sharing a fable rather than a true experience.

Alfred found himself wanting Matthew to continue; he had stopped to cry some more. Every time he spoke, or tried to, his words came out as sorrowful hiccups, making what he was saying incoherent. He was merely taking a short break to calm himself down and get his voice back.

"Continue," Alfred impatiently said, his tone a sort of nervous one, hoping it wouldn't upset Matthew further. "I wanna hear what happens next."

Matthew sighed, wiped a few tears away with the sleeves of his hoodie, and looked at Alfred with a trembling lip. His woeful violet eyes were vaguely bloodshot and his glasses rested halfway down his nose, the left lens more foggy than the right one.

"Well..."

* * *

><p>Gilbert did as he was instructed to and sat down next to Matthew on his bed. He nervously glanced at him, not knowing what to expect.<p>

Matthew let his hands flop onto his lap and sighed.

"B-Because..." Matthew choked on the words, unable to release them properly. "Because...I guess...I've never had a friend before."

Gilbert gasped, not believing what he was hearing. Matthew didn't have friends, nor had he ever? Surely his ears were deceiving him?

"Never had a friend?" Gilbert repeated in genuine shock. "B-But you're too awesome to not have had friends!"

Matthew smiled at Gilbert's attempt at a compliment. He guessed that Gilbert was new to praising others, and the only he said something was awesome was when he was referring to either himself or something involving him.

"It's true," Matthew looked down. His voice was quiet and jittery. "I have no friends, apart from my..." Matthew stopped mid sentence, realising h was about to mention his stuffed polar bear Kumajirou. He hadn't fully known Gilbert for long and couldn't risk embarrassing himself like that. Instead, he shook his head and said, "Nevermind."

Gilbert respected Matthew enough not to ask.

"So..." Gilbert wore a very cocky grin, "I'm your first friend?"

Matthew smiled. "I guess..."

Gilbert chuckled, arrogantly smirking.

"Awesome..." Gilbert muttered. "But I don't understand. Why have you never had a friend before, Mattie?"

Matthew shrugged. Even he didn't know the exact answer to that.

"I guess it's 'cause I'm bland," Matthew sighed, playing with the annoying curl protruding off of his hair. "Really. There's nothing remarkable about me at all. I'm not a character like you are. I'm easily forgettable, yet I still get mistaken for my brother."

Gilbert cocked an eyebrow in fascination. Although he begged to differ with everything Matthew had said, he wouldn't have admitted it so soon.

"Your brother?" Gilbert asked. He had a brother? Did he know him?

"Yeah," Matthew clarified, biting his lip to stifle his tears. Stupid fucking Alfred. Alfred was the source for each and every one of the Canadian's woes. Just the thought of him either made Matthew want to cry or throw up...maybe, in some circumstances, even do both.

"Do I know him?" Gilbert questioned, trying to think of someone who at least vaguely resembled Matthew. He honestly couldn't think of anyone that he knew, and Gilbert knew basically everyone who attended his school.

"You might," Matthew cryptically answered, his tone sounded accidentally like he was teasing Gilbert. "He's pretty popular and all. He's kind of an asshole, though. I'd list all of the things wrong with him, but the last time I did, it took over three hours."

Gilbert chuckled. Judging by the tone of Matthew's voice, he wasn't kidding.

"Ah, I get it," Gilbert nodded. He felt he could relate since he had a brother himself and all, but because of their differences he was never mistaken for him and vice versa. "Who's your brother?"

"Alfred..." Matthew growled. He looked up to see Gilbert still looking at him expectedly, thus telling him Gilbert hadn't heard him. Matthew cleared his throat and tried again, trying to sound calmer this time, bottling his anger and shame up deep inside.

"Jones?" Gilbert replied quickly. Matthew nodded, blushing because of how ashamed of it he was. "Ja, I know him. You're right. He's an arrogant dick."

Matthew laughed at how ironic that was before it dawned on him that Gilbert didn't like Alfred, which relieved him slightly. Gilbert leaned in closer to Matthew and whispered, "You're way more awesome than _him, _by the way. I kinda wasn't expecting you to be related to that fucker because you're..."

"Quiet?" Matthew's laughter and optimism faded. "Unremarkable? Forgettable? Boring? I've heard it all before, don't worry."

"Actually..." Gilbert put his hand on Matthew's knee – the one closest to him, anyway – and giggled smugly as a blush formed on Matthew's cheeks. "I was gonna say 'really awesome'. Seriously."

Matthew smiled as butterflies fluttered around in his stomach. His blush grew and his eyes started to water. He wanted to break down into tears. Tears...of happiness.

"Wow..." Matthew breathed. Now he was the shocked one. "T-Thanks."

"You're welcome," Gilbert took his hand off of Matthew's knee and instead proceeded to wrap his arms around Matthew, pulling him into a sort of brotherly embrace. "Besides, you've always gotta have that awesome sibling. I'm that one, obviously. And so are you."

Matthew wasn't sure what made him blush more – Gilbert's words or their 'hug'. He was at a loss for words and wasn't sure about how to reply.

Gilbert separated them suddenly, shuffling back to his original space. Matthew noticed that Gilbert's posture was awkward and he had his head down, perhaps to hide his own blush?

Just then, as if on cue like this was some sort of cheesy American sitcom from the 90's, there was a knock on the door.

Gilbert cleared his throat and shouted in a husky voice, "Come in!"

The door opened to reveal a muscular blonde man in a black tank top – Matthew sort of recognised him, but presumed that he was Gilbert's father judging by his stoic posture, height and outward appearance; he looked very strong. He was almost scary. Behind him stood a shorter, much more energetic boy, who definitely wasn't related to him whatsoever.

Gilbert rested one hand on his lap, swaying it to one side as he walked over to the door. Matthew quietly giggled at how feminine he looked.

"Yes?" Gilbert's tone was rude and annoyed. Matthew guessed that he hated to be disturbed.

"Dinner's done," the blonde man, who looked like a giant compared to Gilbert, declared. He, too, sounded annoyed, but that was probably because of the boy behind him excitedly jumping up and down, exclaiming, 'Yay! Pasta! Ve~! You made pasta!'

Gilbert motioned for Matthew to stand up, which he did. Very shyly he walked over to the door. He seemed to surprise the tall German, who had not seen him in Gilbert's room. Not because he wasn't visible at all, but because the door was skewered at an angle that hid him perfectly.

"Oh," he gasped upon seeing Matthew. "H-Hallo..."

The cute little teen behind him ran up to Matthew, forcing him into a large hug. When he finally pulled away, leaving Matthew gasping for air, he greeted him in his special way: "Ciao, ciao, ciao! Ve~! I'm Feliciano, but you can call me Feli!"

Matthew gulped and awkwardly nodded as a greeting.

"H-Hi Feli," Matthew shyly said, his blush coming back. Gilbert stood beside him, still smirking like he usually did, his red eyes glaring straight into the other German's amazing, piercing baby blue ones.

"And I'm Ludwig," the German greeted, shaking Matthew's hand. His tone was softer, but his accent made him twenty percent more threatening.

Oh, _that _was Ludwig? He looked less scary and muscular in the Facebook pictures. He did look familiar, of course, but he was so much more intimidating in person.

"Nice to meet you," Matthew's manners returned having lost them thanks to meeting Gilbert and Feliciano. He knew Ludwig was the type to not piss off just by looking at him. "Oh, I'm Matthew, by the way."

Ludwig looked at Feliciano before looking back at Gilbert. Gilbert had not taken his gaze off of him, and his smirk hadn't dropped in the past few seconds either.

"Right, anyway, we should get downstairs before dinner gets cold."

* * *

><p>Gilbert was the first into the dining room, with Feliciano close behind. Feliciano had run as fast as possible – like a true Italian, apparently – just to get to the pasta, but Gilbert was <em>really <em>fond of food. He was so fond of food that he considered eating a hobby.

"Ve~! Gil, you win!" Feliciano pouted, mocking a defeated person.

Gilbert threw both of his arms up triumphantly.

"Yay! I'm so awesome!" Gilbert yelled, his voice echoing around the room. "Get down on your knees and praise me! I am the awesome me!"

Just when Feliciano was literally going to get down on his knees, Ludwig tapped him and whispered, "Not literally."

Feliciano didn't say a word – which was abnormal for him – and took a seat. Ludwig sat next to him 'in order to keep an eye on him' (yeah right). Gilbert sat opposite Ludwig, tapping the seat beside him in order to get Matthew to sit there.

Matthew hesitantly did. Gilbert discreetly scooted his chair to be closer to Matthew. Soon they were so close that they were touching, their legs overlapping. Matthew blushed at the sudden intimate contact whilst Gilbert looked at him, his crimson eyes full of affection and his smirk full of arrogance.

Arrogant affection.

That seemed to sum up a love struck Gilbert perfectly.

But he wasn't love struck...was he? He couldn't have been.

Matthew was nothing special; even Matthew himself was aware of that.

Matthew shook his head to get rid of all the impure thought that was sure to give him a headache later. He made a mental note to take aspirin when he got home in advance.

Gilbert's mother then walked in carrying a huge pasta bowl and an even larger potato bowl. Ludwig eyed the potatoes the most, whilst Feliciano's chestnut eyes were fixated on the pasta.

Feliciano stuck his tongue out in hunger, stamping his fork on the table. Ludwig face palmed, wanting to yell at Feliciano about how impolite he was being, but his mother just smiled at how adorable he was.

She was such a pushover. She had to be. She raised Gilbert. Gilbert effing Beilschmidt, of all people.

Matthew was more used to discipline. Every time Alfred did something wrong, Arthur would punish him. By him, it often meant Matthew. Arthur _still _got them mixed up. Matthew was well behaved and always obeyed the rules, yet still suffered for it, which wasn't fair at all.

As their mother took her seat, the four hungry teenagers took as much pasta and potatoes as they wanted before tucking in. It was silent at first until Gilbert's mother started a conversation with all four of them. Matthew was glad that she wasn't paying any attention to him at the moment. He was so shy around eating with other people.

"So, how was school?"

Gilbert looked at the other three and nodded.

"It was pretty awesome," Gilbert replied. Did he know any other adjectives? "Not as awesome as me, but oh well."

His mother narrowed her eyes and looked more in Ludwig and Feliciano's direction. She hadn't directly asked Gilbert and there was only so much of the self proclaimed Prussian she could take.

Ludwig gave the blunt answer of 'it was fine' whereas Feliciano went into great detail about his day, including what he had for lunch. Gilbert's mother listened attentively, although Matthew and the rest had switched off shortly after Feliciano began talking. Then Feliciano praised the dinner, stating how much better it was than English food.

"I bet it'd never be as good as yours," Gilbert's mother said, slightly disappointed.

Feliciano didn't know exactly how to reply, so he just giggled and continued to eat.

Once Ludwig and Feliciano had finished – they didn't have as much dinner because apparently they'd eaten after school anyway – they excused themselves and left, taking their plates with them into the kitchen before heading upstairs to Ludwig's room, leaving Matthew with Gilbert and his mother.

"So, Matthew," Gilbert's mother began. Matthew looked up, surprised at the mention of his name. It was what he had been dreading, but nevertheless he had to answer. He was polite and knew better than to ignore people when they asked him things. "How was your day at school? You haven't said a word."

Matthew gulped and looked at Gilbert. Gilbert was looking back at him neutrally, interested in whatever Matthew had to say.

"I-It was...alright," Matthew shrugged, putting a forkful of pasta into his mouth. He swallowed before continuing, "Mundane as usual."

He saw Gilbert looking at him expectedly and immediately knew what he had to mention.

"Oh, but I met Gilbert today," Matthew added, though he hadn't planned on adding that detail. "That cheered me up, I guess."

Gilbert flashed an arrogant, wide grin at both his mother and Matthew. His mother smiled back, thinking up another question.

"How is your family?" Gilbert's mother asked, hoping she wasn't being too personal and wouldn't scare Matthew away, or at least reduce him to tears.

"They're...g-good," Matthew answered, pushing his finished plate away. "W-Well...my dad isn't really my dad, I'm adopted. B-But I have an older brother, in Gilbert's grade, I think. He's my biological brother. It's a v-very complicated story."

Gilbert's mother nodded in respect. Gilbert's smirk faded and remained in a neutral position as he slowly turned back at Matthew. He didn't know he was adopted. In fact, he was pretty surprised. He made a mental note to himself that, when the two knew each other better, he wanted to know what the complicated story was, even if it took him years.

"Ah," that was the only thing his mother could say. She looked at both Gilbert and Matthew's empty plates. "Well, seeing as you're done, you can go now. Nice meeting you, Matthew."

Matthew wasn't sure if she meant leave the house or leave the table, but either way she was saying her goodbyes. She sounded like she genuinely liked Matthew, which made him feel a lot better, too.

Gilbert and Matthew both stood up magically at the same time, pulling their chairs apart. They held their plates tight and Matthew followed Gilbert out to the kitchen.

Once they put their plates on the side, Gilbert turned to Matthew.

"So, whatcha wanna do now?" Gilbert asked, hoping Matthew wanted to stay with him longer. That would, of course, only inflate his ego further and, if that were to happen, then the whole world would probably implode on itself.

"I didn't tell my dad where I am," Matthew sighed. "So, I think I should get going."

Gilbert's ego deflated just like a balloon thanks to that. His smirk dropped once again into a sad half-smile.

"O-Oh...okay," Gilbert sighed. "I'll give you a ride."

Matthew smiled warmly.

"Thanks," Matthew blushed. "And this time, maybe I should tell you where I live."

* * *

><p>The two shared an awkward silence in the car at first, before Gilbert remembered what Matthew had said about being adopted.<p>

"So...you're adopted, huh?" Gilbert knew it wasn't an ideal conversation starter, but it seemed to work for him. He didn't see anything insensitive about it all.

Matthew had his head pressed to the window, his hand tightly clasped around the car handle.

"Y-Yeah," Matthew bit his lip, his eyes darting straight down onto his lap again.

"Oh," Gilbert mumbled. "Yeah, when you told me your brother was Alfred, I was a little confused because he's American and you're Canadian. How does that work out?"

Matthew closed his eyes as painful memories came back to him. Memories of his mother, memories of...his happy times, where everyone knew him. Nobody asked him who he was because there was no need to.

"Like I said, a very complicated story," Matthew repeated, his voice cracking. Gilbert managed to read the atmosphere unlike Matthew's brother and respected him. He was about to apologise before he realised he had reached his destination.

Matthew opened his door hastily, before Gilbert pulled him back down. Matthew furrowed his eyebrows when he saw that Gilbert's door, too, was open. He was just about to get out, too.

"G-Gilbert, what are you...?" Matthew didn't know exactly what the question was that he wanted to ask, but he knew that he was getting his point across, even to a semi-idiot like Gilbert.

"I'm walking you to the door," Gilbert replied like it was the most normal, straightest thing in the world. "I don't care if you protest. I'm doing it."

Matthew was about to ask why until he saw Gilbert was already out and standing outside the car. Matthew shook his head and got out himself, slamming the door behind him on accident.

"Careful," Gilbert warned, wearing a serious face. "That car's new, and I don't think the actual owner will like it if you damage it."

Matthew laughed at the joke, surprised that Gilbert even remembered his shock at thinking the car had been stolen. Gilbert somehow seemed like he was the forgetful type.

But if he remembered Matthew with no problem then maybe he wasn't the forgetful type. Gah, all this thinking made Matthew's head hurt.

Once Gilbert and Matthew reached the front door, turning the light on automatically, Gilbert rang the doorbell just when Matthew was about to.

"I can't believe I don't have my keys," Matthew whispered to himself, hoping Gilbert wouldn't hear him. Luckily for him, he didn't. "This happens every fucking day..."

"You say something?"

"Huh? Oh, no. Not at all. Don't worry."

Just then, the door opened to reveal a very tired looking Arthur with a towel around his waist and one on his head.

Arthur rubbed one eye to indicate how sleepy he was. A slight blush was on his cheeks upon realising there were two strange teenage boys at the door and he was half naked. One swipe of the towel and he'd be fully exposed.

"Um...hello?" Arthur was very apprehensive. Who were these two?

He only vaguely remembered one of them. The red eyes seemed to ring a bell. But the pair of violet ones beside him? Nope, he didn't recognise them.

"I bought your kid home," Gilbert's voice was more husky and rude than it usually was. He obviously didn't respect his elders, although Arthur could pass for under thirty years old. "Be grateful."

Matthew closed his eyes tightly and blushed hard. How could Gilbert be so damn careless like that?

Arthur raised an eyebrow. His kid?

"Um, you're mistaken, sir," Arthur replied in an equally as rude tone. If Gilbert wasn't going to be polite to him, why the hell should he be polite to him? "My kid is in his bedroom probably not doing his homework. This must be a joke."

Arthur was about to close the door but luckily Gilbert managed to keep it open.

Gilbert gave a 'you're kidding me' look to Matthew, who just sighed sadly. He put his arms on Matthew's shoulders and pushed him forward, startling Matthew a little.

"Your _other _kid, idiot," Gilbert growled. "Matthew. You know. The _awesome _one."

It took a while for Arthur to remember.

"Oh! Matthew!" Arthur's tone suddenly became affectionate in five seconds flat. "I'm so glad you're home! Come inside."

Matthew waved to Gilbert as he walked down the driveway and back to his car. All the way back, he was mumbling to himself about how 'fucking unbelievable Mattie's vati was'.

Matthew shut the door behind him as he wiped his feet on the mat, despite them not being wet or dirty at all. Arthur didn't say any further words to the Canadian and instead went back into the living room to do God knows what.

Matthew went straight upstairs into his room to reflect on what just happened.

Surely it was all a dream? Matthew pinched himself hard. It most certainly was not a dream. He really had just made a friend. Matthew smiled to himself proudly. He was so tempted to tuck himself into bed and just sleep to make the next day come faster, so he could see Gilbert again.

To him, Gilbert really _was _the definition of awesome.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Please review~ It makes me feel loved.**

**Sorry for any sloppy grammar mistakes and my bad English. I'm from England, you see. We don't speak English here. Sorry.**


	4. It Could be Alright

**A/N: Um so I go back home tomorrow which is sad because it's so warm here and my town has been affected by floods -_- **

**I was meant to update my stories over the course of the two weeks that I was here but I kinda got carried away with not going outside and doing basically what I do at home – derp around on my laptop. Apologies for that.**

**To answer a question: Prussia dies because he got too awesome. Okay, not really. I'm not sure yet, but it's most likely a terminal illness. It has to be something someone could suffer from without them knowing for a while and then be diagnosed with when it's too late and they just have months to live – Prussia knows he's going to die upon learning, basically. I'm thinking cancer but I know that's a sensitive subject and I'm scared I'll do it wrong. T_T **

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own Hetalia because I'm not genius like that. If I did however own Hetalia then Germany and Italy would skip through fields of pasta like real men do**

**Anyway, without further ado...**

* * *

><p><em>Chapter Four – It Could be Alright<em>

Alfred soon decided he had things to do.

Other things. Things more important than his little brother's feelings.

It certainly wasn't homework, it certainly wasn't chores and it most definitely wasn't something else related to education.

Matthew's eyes felt like they had ran out of tears and he could cry no more, instead all he could do was gasp and whimper like a little puppy desperate for its owner.

That's what Matthew was.

Desperate for his owner.

Desperate for Gilbert.

* * *

><p>Matthew walked through the halls, feeling a little bit more upbeat than he usually was. He was still pushed around a little but for some reason he didn't seem to care anymore. He was happy for once and that's all that mattered to him.<p>

He finally reached his locker, put in the right combination, opened it and took out all the books out he would need for his first few lessons. As he did, he found himself humming happy tunes. Usually he would open his locker door silently, feeling a bit groggy, tired and depressed. But today...today was different.

Matthew felt like an entirely new person. He didn't feel like the unremarkable teenager everyone seemed to forget or never notice. He felt strangely...high. Intoxicated on happiness. Matthew had tried drugs before as an attempt to fit in (which, of course, failed miserably, although he was recognised for a few hours afterwards) but he had never felt as good and as high as he was feeling that day.

He never knew that one person could do such a thing, probably because he had never experienced it before. So maybe there were people out there willing to change people's lives around, even if it made them look like a total idiot.

As Matthew closed the locker door, suddenly something bubbled inside of him.

_He's probably forgotten me._

There was a chance Gilbert had forgotten all about poor Matthew's very existence. Matthew sighed, his happiness vanishing in the blink of an eye only to be replaced by melancholy. He was back to square one; it was like he was walking in circles. People would know him for a day then forget who he was the next. It'd always been like that.

Well, except for when he lived in Canada.

"Hey, Mattie!"

Matthew let out an extremely loud gasp beyond his control and his books flew out of his hands out the floor. He felt embarrassed for a second as he looked around to see if anyone had seen – nope, of course not. Surely he knew that by now?

Matthew bent down to pick up all the books he had dropped, an angry blush forming on his face. He had to go through this almost every day. The worst case scenario was that someone else had his name – after all, it is a very common name – and was calling them instead. The best case scenario was that someone had noticed him. The even better case scenario was if it was Gilbert who had called him.

He stood back up, his composure strangely renewed, forming a calm and collected new Mattie. He looked around to see if he could put a voice to the face and, sure enough, Gilbert was right beside him, along with a girl Matthew had seen before but didn't know too well.

"G-Gilbert!" Matthew stuttered, overwhelmed by the sudden acknowledgment. His blush returned, making him feel extremely stupid. He closed an eye in embarrassment. "Y-You remember me!"

Gilbert stood there, arms folded across his chest, smirking like he always did.

"What? You think I've forgotten all about you, Birdie?" Gilbert asked, pouting his lips so that his voice came out teasingly and somewhat cutely.

Matthew cringed outwardly at the pet name but inwardly he was laughing at it. Giggling, in fact, like a love struck schoolgirl.

"Birdie?" Matthew asked, slightly smiling. "What the...?"

Suddenly, the girl butted in with, "He's got an obsession with birds. It's kind of creepy, if you ask me."

Gilbert looked very hurt and offended over his obsession being pointed out like that. Wait a minute...that's right, she had a little obsession of her own he could use as blackmail...

"Hey! At least I don't get horny over two guys having buttsex with each other!"

Okay, now Gilbert was asking for it. The girl growled and started to play fight with him, something Gilbert was more than happy to do. Matthew just watched awkwardly, wondering why on earth they were friends. Opposites attract, he supposed.

Just like him and Gilbert. Gilbert was pretty much a bad influence on Matthew but for some strange reason Matthew just didn't seem to care. As long as he had a friend who cared for him enough to never forget him, then he was alright with having a bit of an infamously arrogant rebel have a bad influence on him.

The two stopped fighting all of a sudden upon remembering that Matthew was there and watching them with bemusement. They both rubbed their necks awkwardly whilst glaring at each other coldly. Matthew could feel an intimidating aura surround both of them, almost scaring him to death.

He started to sweat a little and he pulled at the strings on his favourite hoodie. The girl then walked over to him, gave him a big hug (not even caring that Matthew didn't hug back and stood there, stiff) and a quick little kiss on the cheek.

"I'm going to my other friends now," she said specifically to Matthew, although she was aiming it at Gilbert too. "So...seeya, Mattie!" She walked off, looking behind her and waving, a slight skip in her walk.

Matthew's body felt so weird after that. A girl knew his name yet he didn't even know hers. It was so awkward for him he could barely meet his violet eyes with Gilbert's crazy coloured ones, which he knew were looking at him.

"W-Who was that?" Matthew asked, his voice coming out as a soft little whisper. Noticing he sounded a bit rude, he continued, "I m-mean, I've seen her around school before, I just don't know her n-"

"Elizabeta," Gilbert interrupted, lifting Matthew's chin up. Matthew gulped, thinking Gilbert wanted to kiss him or something. When Gilbert moved his hand away, Matthew felt slightly relieved yet at the same time kind of wanted to be touched again. He had a soft but tantalizing touch Matthew wasn't used to. For a split second, he wanted Gilbert's hand to run down all of his body...

_No. _

For a split second, he** wanted **Gilbert to kiss him.

_No._

What the hell was wrong with Matthew? Now that he thought about it, he'd never really been attracted to girls but he'd never been attracted to boys, either. He thought of himself as asexual or just had a thought that love was just a waste of time and unnecessary heartbreak he didn't want. But Gilbert...

_Gilbert was different._

Matthew gulped, blushing at the impure thoughts slithering around in his head. They just wouldn't leave him. The only way he could have gotten rid of them was to be professionally purged but the hormones taking over Matthew's body were too strong and powerful to be purified.

When Matthew allowed for his gaze to meet Gilbert's, he only blushed harder. Gilbert had been staring at him as Matthew shook his head as his attempt to block all the thoughts of him with Gilbert. He had admittedly been a bit confused as to what was going on but didn't bother to ask Matthew about it. He didn't want to lose Matthew before he'd even got him.

"You okay?" Gilbert eased out, hoping Matthew was alright. That was the most sensitive way of approaching it...

"I'm f-fine," Matthew covered his face with his hand, smiling shyly to himself. Gilbert wanted to comment on how adorable he looked but just couldn't find the right words. If Matthew had been a girl, it would probably have been a lot easier.

"Um, good," Gilbert bit his lip over how stupid he sounded. As a whole load of topics and enquiries circulated around his head that he could use to help change the subject, he smirked at Matthew to make it look like he was alright. He wasn't sure if he was or not. Suddenly, for some reason he could not fathom, Gilbert let out, "Hey, d'ya like birds?"

Matthew stopped covering his face and looked up at Gilbert with a 'are you serious?' type of face. He probably didn't realise what he looked like, though, because he looked pretty rude. Gilbert was laughing somewhat nervously to himself, knowing he'd asked a stupid question.

"Um...I guess I do?" Matthew replied, although he didn't know what his actual answer. "Some of them are really cute but others are just annoying."

Gilbert's smirk dropped a bit at the last few words of that sentence. Matthew was wrong – all birds are cute; they're not annoying! For some reason, although Gilbert wanted to yell at Matthew, he refrained from doing so. He obviously wasn't a bird lover.

There is an obvious joke to that, so take it both ways.

"I have a bird," Gilbert proclaimed although it was totally irrelevant and Matthew didn't ask. "His name is Gilbird, after the awesome me, of course. He's normally in my room but yesterday I let him fly around the house for a bit."

Matthew did recall seeing a little bird in the kitchen but didn't speak to Gilbert about it, thinking it was only a house pet, which was correct.

"Oh..." Matthew couldn't say anymore. He glanced at his watch – five more minutes until class time. "Um, so you like chicks and birds and stuff?"

"Yeah," Gilbert answered, drawing out the word for no apparent reason. Probably to make his sentence sound longer and therefore making him sound smarter; Alfred did that a lot and people fell for it because they're probably dumbasses. "They're the only type of chick I like."

_Fuck._

Gilbert's eyes widened at what he just said. Did he just...?

Matthew blushed, suddenly realising what Gilbert meant. For some reason, it didn't make him feel awkward or embarrassed (okay, well, maybe a little bit). Instead, it made him feel relieved and kind of happy.

"Um, ignore that," Matthew couldn't help but notice how Gilbert had a slight blush on his cheeks, a rare sight he never thought he'd see. "So, um, you wanna sit with me at lunch?"

Matthew bit his lip to stifle the giggles over Gilbert's blunder.

"S-Sure," Matthew nodded his head.

Gilbert nodded his head as well as a sort of 'yay!' way, before asking, "Okay, so where should we meet?"

"Um, outside the doors of the lunch hall?" Matthew replied. "O-Or you could meet me outside of my class right before lunch, if you want."

Gilbert nodded again. "What class you got?"

"Art," Matthew responded cryptically before remembering he needed to be more specific. "In room 14."

"Ah, okay," Gilbert somewhat smiled, his arms across his chest again. "I'll meet you there, then."

"Okay," Matthew didn't know what else to say without sounding like an idiot. With perfect timing, the bell rang for first period and they both exchanged their goodbyes, walking away in different directions.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: I'm going to cut it short here because my hands ache and it's still pretty long anyway. Usually the other chapters are 3,000 words long but today I can only manage roughly 2,000 :( Sorry about that~**

**Is my bird joke too English? Do Americans/Canadians/Anyone of another descent/Narnians call girls 'birds'? -Is culturally unaware-**

**Um so next chapter we, uh, see Matthew make more friends and stuff. GOD DAMMIT TIAAH WHEN WILL WE GET TO THE GOOD STUFF?**

**Ahem. Anyway, thanks for your lovely reviews so far, I look forward to more, da? ^-^ Hasta la Pasta~!**


	5. Mindless Restlessness

**A/N: I am so sorry for making you all wait for so long D: I really have no excuse. My creativity just suddenly vanished so I do apologise for that. Please, pelt me with tomatoes, I've been a lazy author. **

**Thanks for all the feedback so far! ^-^**

**10****th**** review gets to have my vital regions and my soul –demonic voice-**

**DISCLAIMER: I still don't own Hetalia but when I do I will make Belarus queen of the world! MUAHAHAHAHAHA! Ahem.**

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><p><em>Chapter Five – Mindless Restlessness<em>

Matthew couldn't wait for Art to finally come, even though he often dreaded it. The teacher was always a downright bitch to him.

Of course, her anger only stemmed from the fact that she also taught Alfred. Thus, she would inevitably confused poor Mattie for him, despite him always paying attention in class and he at least tried to learn, unlike the other horny, hormone stricken hooligans (ahem, Alfred).

Whenever Matthew raised his hand to either ask or answer a question, she would only say in front of everyone, "Not now, Alfred. It's probably going to be stupid or irrelevant anyway." At first Matthew felt somewhat offended but by now he couldn't care less.

_Because he had met someone who cared about him._

As Matthew added the finishing touches to his work, he smiled to himself.

_Because he had met someone who never forgot him._

Matthew was so distracted by his thoughts he didn't hear the bell go, indicating the start of the last lesson before lunch. Embarrassed, he shuffled out, hoping no one would notice. Of course, they never would, so Matthew really didn't know why he bothered to care anymore.

* * *

><p>"I'm so sorry I'm late, Miss..."<p>

The whole class turned to the door and looked at Matthew as if he'd just murdered somebody. Well, the majority of them did, anyway. Some looked at him like, 'Who the hell are you?' Some of them looked at him – mostly girls – 'innocently' mistaking him for Alfred and squealing like the over delusional Alfie fangirls they were, whilst others maybe glanced for a few seconds before returning to vandalising the desks with badly drawn male genitals.

The teacher glared all the way from the other side of the room. Matthew could have sworn he saw her face turn bright red and steam come out of her ears.

"Alfred..." she growled, not even caring that she was mistaken. "Don't give me any excuses. Take your seat and shut it. Plus, you've got a detention with me this lunchtime."

Matthew sighed and went to his seat. Now she was pushing it. For a teacher, she was pretty dumb – for starters, Alfred was in the grade above. There was no use arguing with her; she wouldn't listen and Matthew would only end up in real trouble.

It was so unfair. Matthew knew he had to stand up to his brother some day or another, but every time he went to try he only chickened out and said it either too kindly or too quietly.

Plus, to get a detention that your brother deserves pretty much just sucks and it wasn't a surprise when Matthew sat on his own, working silently as anger built up inside of him.

He never knew that not being able to see Gilbert for a while would upset him so much. However, Gilbert was going to wait outside for him, notice Matthew wasn't there and decide to go inside to check, only to see Matthew getting a right bollocking for something his brother did and thus would put her in her place.

Ironically, in Matthew's mind, that was the worst that could happen to him.

So for the remainder of the lesson, Matthew did his work in complete silence, hoping that would convince the teacher to rethink and consider his detention. That unfair, unrighteous detention.

Too bad the teacher never even noticed him once.

At the end of the lesson just when everybody else was leaving, Matthew stood up, his finished work in hand.

It was, of course, only then that Matthew was finally noticed.

She narrowed her eyes and gave Matthew the coldest glare he'd ever received. It felt like a thousand ice cubes had just been dropped into his soul.

"And just where do you think you're going?"

That was enough for Matthew to shiver. Yep, she was cold alright.

Matthew pushed his masterpiece practically into her face.

"I just wanted to show you this," Matthew stumbled over a few words, overwhelmed by fear and judgement. His work was exceptionally good for someone who always put himself down and believed strongly in the fact that he had no artistic ability whatsoever. He had closely observed the details and the shading was flawless.

The teacher merely glanced at it before handing it back to him like it wasn't worth anything. "Very nice, Alfred. Now sit."

_Alfred._

_That wasn't his fucking name._

The rage was building inside of him, close to boiling point, and Matthew was seconds away from exploding, which he ultimately would...

"Okay," he sighed, defeated. If he couldn't get angry, he could only cry woefully instead. He picked up his picture, which he was proud of admittedly, and went back to his seat. He rested his arms onto the table and put his head into them. The tears burst out and he was convulsing.

Unfortunately for him, the teacher was too engrossed in her romantic novel to even hear his quiet sorrows.

Suddenly, the door burst open, startling both Matthew and the bit...teacher. Matthew wiped some tears away and forced a smile upon seeing Gilbert standing in the doorway.

"Mattie!" Gilbert cried out, much to the teacher's confusion.

_...Mattie? Who the hell...?_

The teacher stood in front of Gilbert and tired to give him the most menacing glare ever. It was such a shame Gilbert was doing the same, only better, as if it was some sort of competition.

"Mr. Beilschmidt, please leave," the teacher instructed, pinching the bridge of her nose in annoyance. "I'd like to deal with _Alfred _by myself."

Gilbert rolled his eyes and pulled Matthew up from his seat and dragged him over to the teacher (by his hand, might it be added).

Once there, he pushed Matthew lightly in front of him, close to the teacher.

"This," Gilbert wrapped his arms around Matthew's waist, pulling him into a hug. "Is Matthew. Not Alfred."

Matthew blushed bright red. _Why was Gilbert hugging him?_

"I don't know a Matthew," the teacher snapped.

Gilbert growled.

"Yes, you do," his accent grew thicker with more and more anger being applied to his voice. "This is Alfred's super awesome brother, Matthew. If you don't believe me, lady, check the school system or go hunt down Alfred."

Matthew's cheeks felt like they were on fire. He kept his gaze directed on his shoes, too shy to speak or tell Gilbert to stop. He didn't want Gilbert to stop now, and soon he loosened his body to enjoy the embrace more.

Matthew could tell Gilbert was glaring at her pretty fiercely by the way she suddenly sighed, "Fine, okay, I believe you! I apologise, Matthew."

Matthew's blush started to fade but his stomach still fluttered and he felt weak. He was about to open his mouth to speak before Gilbert butted in with, "He doesn't want your apologies. Come on, Mattie."

With that, they left.

* * *

><p>"You didn't have to do that for me..."<p>

Gilbert smirked. "Of course I did! She's a bitch."

Matthew laughed nervously, tugging at the sleeves of his hoodies.

"Yeah..." he muttered under his breath, letting out a loud sigh. Gilbert could tell Matthew was grateful, but hid that with sadness. He didn't want his little Matthew to be sad.

Gilbert wanted to say something about the matter but instead kept the words locked in his throat for a better time. They had been walking in silence for some time and, before they knew it, they had reached the lunch hall.

There were people _everywhere. _Almost all the tables were full of people, plus there was a long line of people still waiting for food and then, to top it all off, there were teenagers lurking in each corner of the room eating each other instead of their lunch.

It made Matthew feel uncomfortable just looking at them.

"There they are!" Gilbert shouted, pointing to a table full of kids. Matthew looked to see where he was pointing at but instead was being dragged by Gilbert for the second time that day. No, scratch that, second time in an hour.

Gilbert wedged himself between Francis and Antonio, leaving enough room for Matthew to sit next to Francis. Because of their arrival, that side of the bench was pretty much full, making the other side look completely empty.

The boy next to Antonio was pretty much hanging off the edge and he was not happy about it.

"Stupid bastard!" he yelled at Gilbert.

Matthew twiddled with his thumbs and blushed, mumbling, "Sorry..."

"No, it's not you," Antonio smiled cheerfully. "Lovi's like that to everybody, aren't you?" He ruffled Lovi's hair and giggled, carefully avoiding the prominent curl in his hair for some reason. Lovi blushed bright red and bit his arm to get him to stop.

Ah, Italians.

"You're all so uncivilised," came a pretentious voice from the other side of the table. Gilbert poked his tongue out at him.

"Nah, we just know how to have fun, unlike you, you stupid aristocrat," Gilbert laughed, moving around so much he was pushing both Matthew and Antonio, meaning poor Lovi was only falling off the bench more, which was seriously starting to bother him by now.

"...I'm leaving," the 'stupid aristocrat' suddenly announced, standing up with his lunch tray. "Come, Elizabeta."

Elizabeta stood up with him and smiled at Matthew, who waved at her as she left, following him like a lost puppy.

Matthew looked at Gilbert with a confused expression. Gilbert managed to read it as easy as a picture book for under five year olds.

"Don't mind Roderich, he does that a lot," Gilbert answered, still pushing Antonio in order to piss Lovi off more. Matthew didn't like being pushed himself but kept silent about it.

"Don't we look a bit stupid sitting on one side of the bench?" Matthew asked in his meek little voice which, to his surprise, Gilbert managed to hear. He let out an obnoxious laugh, something Matthew could only describe as 'kesesese~!'

"Ja," Gilbert laughed. "Oh well."

Meanwhile, Lovi was so pissed off he got up too, taking Antonio by the hand (as much as he didn't want to).

"We're leaving, too," Lovi declared, leaving with Antonio before anyone could say their goodbyes to them. Gilbert moved up to the end of the bench, giving Matthew a lot more space to breathe in.

"Does _that _happen a lot too?" Matthew asked. He really wanted to know why their lunch times were so...strange.

"Sometimes," Gilbert replied, finally beginning to eat the lunch he packed for himself. Matthew took out a bottle of water and nothing else.

Gilbert raised an eyebrow. "Hey...don't you have any lunch?"

"Yeah, but I don't want it," Matthew sighed, his voice even quieter and weaker than usual, if that was possible. "I'm not hungry."

Gilbert was so full of uncertainty that he wanted to shake some sense into Matthew. Something was wrong with that boy and he wanted, no, _needed _to find out just what.

"...Alright."

There was an awkward silence until Francis finally said something.

"What are the bets that Antonio and Lovi are in the bathroom stalls relieving their sexual tensions?"

Gilbert did that obnoxious laugh again and Matthew almost choked on his water with either laughter or extreme embarrassment.

"I'll bet you a lot of money," Gilbert practically shouted to Francis despite sitting barely fifteen centimetres away from him. He reached into his wallet and put a tenner onto the table.

Francis took the money and hid it in his pocket. He shook hands with Gilbert before standing up himself. Matthew braced himself for Francis to announce his departure, leaving him all alone with Gilbert.

Which wouldn't be all too much of a bad thing.

"I'll ask him later," Francis laughed to himself. He pinched Matthew's cheek and continued, "Well, I've gotta get going. Maybe I'll catch them, non?"

Matthew blushed and didn't say a word and just watched as Francis left to, most likely, the bathroom to supposedly catch Antonio and Lovi in the act.

Matthew wasn't sure if they were joking or not but by the way he had seen them behave they were most likely...not joking.

"Do you think they're really..." Matthew's blush grew when he realised he didn't know what the right words to say were. He closed on eye in embarrassment and whispered, "..._Doing it?_"

Gilbert did his 'kesesese' laugh again and piped up, "They might be, they might not be. I bet that they are, though."

Matthew nodded and made an uncomfortable noise. Being around Gilbert sure was awkward...

"So, will I see you here tomorrow?" Gilbert asked, smiling brightly and mockingly batting his eyelashes.

"Hopefully," Matthew sighed, pushing his glasses up. "If I don't run into more trouble."

Gilbert laughed and started stroking Matthew's hair, much to his bemusement.

"I'm so tempted to beat Alfred up," Gilbert proclaimed, tangling his fingers with every lock of Matthew's golden hair.

Matthew, although his mind was screaming, 'Oh my God, do it, do it, do it!', shook his head and weakly chuckled.

"Don't joke..."

"Who says I'm joking?"

* * *

><p>Matthew had been looking out the window for a while now.<p>

There were a few clouds in the sky. The moon had been completely covered; there was nothing to illuminate the night.

Except for one star.

Matthew slid his hand down the window pane. He could feel his throat grow isolated. Matthew thought he had cried so much, he could cry no more...

But he was wrong...

"Why aren't you here with me...?"

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Don't make the same mistake I did. Don't listen to sad songs whilst writing this...even worse when it's a certain song by a certain Canadian T_T**

**I'm trying to make Matthew as sympathetic as possible. I need this story to convey so many emotions that your little hearts explode with sadness. Wait what**

**I hope this chapter was alright :/ I promise to never, ever write when my mind suddenly fails on me again if it wasn't. But I updated. My boyfriend made me feel bad for being such a lazy author that I knew I had to get this up.**

**Also...tenner: basically just means £10/$10. Bollocking: lecturing, reprimanding, etc. Sorry for the Brit speak XD **


	6. Will We Make It?

**A/N: I apologise for the long wait. I'm sorry if you've started to lose interest in this. It's not like I've been busy at all; I've been off school all week due to sickness. Since I've been roleplaying a lot lately, my mood to write has come back up and I feel like I'm finally back where I belong. **

**If I don't update within the next nine days (holyshitomg), then I'd just like to add that it's my birthday soon. In nine days. As I write this it's Friday, though, so if you read this now then it'll be ten days. AHH I'M TOO OLD FOR THIS**

**This chapter will consist of mostly Gilbert and his sort of point of view, since I've mostly been focusing on Matthew. But that's alright, because I know you love the awesome Prussia!**

**DISCLAIMER: Unless Hidekaz suddenly passed me the rights to Hetalia, then I don't own the characters or basis. The plot line, however cliché it may be, is owned by me. NOW FOR THE SILLINESS: If I did own Hetalia, then England would be the most semest seme in the history of semes.**

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><p><em>Chapter Six – Will We Make It?<em>

_A week passed._

Matthew had gotten used to the whole concept of having a friend. He didn't feel alone anymore and for once in his life he could sleep easy. He had somewhere to go at lunch where he felt accepted.

_Two weeks passed._

Matthew had excuses to get out of the house more. He was constantly at Gilbert's house and he started to become a little less awkward around him. His sexual, perverted jokes didn't seem to bother Matthew. Even when Francis cracked a few, he didn't mind. He even laughed at some of them.

_Three weeks passed._

Matthew always woke up feeling eager to go through another day of living. He almost always woke up with a smile and a cheerier attitude. Not even Alfred could bring him down. Alfred had started to ignore him a bit more, which Matthew was actually glad about. Although he'd spent his whole life trying to get somebody's attention, he didn't feel like he needed Alfred's. He had Gilbert's attention, and that's all that mattered to him nowadays.

Alfred wasn't worth what Gilbert was worth, if Matthew was honest.

_And then, a month had passed._

Where had the time gone?

* * *

><p>Matthew felt his phone vibrate in his bag against his leg. The whole class was dead silent and it was pretty noticeable. A few kids near Matthew heard it and looked at him, embarrassing him enough to make a blush form across his cheeks. The teacher, thankfully, didn't hear and carried on with his lesson.<p>

He was pretty sure that he had just received a text from Gilbert. He had no idea what he wanted or what he was doing on his phone in the middle of a lesson, but something inside of him started to make him feel nauseous. What if it was really urgent? The paranoia was too much and eventually consumed him, compelling him to opening his bag and taking his phone out.

As he slid it out of the bag, he kept a watchful eye on the teacher, making sure not to get caught. Gilbert taught him how to do that and he'd certainly picked up on a few useful tips. He made sure absolutely nobody was looking and, once he was affirmative nobody was interested, he hid his phone in his lap, lifting the screen up so it would turn on.

The teacher was rambling on about something Matthew couldn't care less about. It took him a lot of balls to admit that; he usually always listened in lessons and even took notes. Now, his notebook remained, unopened, on the desk and his pen was rolling around on the edge, close to falling off.

Matthew glanced down at the screen. Sure enough, a notification popped up clarifying that he had a new text message from Gilbert. Looking up at the teacher, he opened it, being very careful with what he was doing. The teacher had his back faced to the board as he continued to write and babble on.

Yawn...how boring.

**Yo, Mattie! This test is so un-awesome, dude. I want you to come entertain me! What are you doing?**

Of course, the text was a lot less sophisticated than that, and most words were either abbreviated or misspelled. It took a while for Matthew to work out and try to comprehend it before his brain finally processed Gilbert's message.

_I want you to come entertain me? _Matthew's new found perversion made that sound incredibly inappropriate, making him blush more. He looked around again, his anxiety getting the best of him, just so no one thought he was reading a dirty text or anything. Of course, no one was looking at him. They all strangely had their eyes fixated on the board.

_Test? Gilbert never mentioned a test._

Oh, wait, that's right. Matthew suddenly remembered that Gilbert had a whole series of tests that day; Alfred mentioned it at dinner a few nights ago if he wasn't mistaken. All of his grade was doing a few mock exams in order to boost their grades and hopefully get them into college, which was still a few years away but still.

Matthew was even sure he'd seen Alfred study for them, which was incredibly rare. This proved to Matthew that the tests were incredibly important and held a lot of significance to their future education, thus he refrained from texting back. He would just let Gilbert know that he got the text and tell the truth about how he didn't want Gilbert to get thrown out of the exam, or he could just improvise a lie.

But Matthew wasn't like that. He wasn't like that all. Especially to Gilbert – he never wanted to lie to Gilbert.

_Never._

So, Matthew simply put his phone back in his bag and opened his note book in order to make it seem like he was paying heed to the lesson. Which, of course, he definitely wasn't.

After he had finished copying pretty much all that was on the board – he was a fast writer, he had learnt recently – the bell rang for lunch, meaning Matthew was finally able to see Gilbert again.

He actually couldn't wait to. It felt unnatural not having his presence near him. It was starting to feel foreign to Matthew whenever Gilbert wasn't there by his side. It was like they were destined to be together.

Matthew's thoughts wandered. He didn't mean that in a romantic way!

...Or did he? Matthew wasn't entirely sure anymore what his feelings were. They were always subject to change.

* * *

><p>Gilbert literally strutted out of the exam hall, bursting through the doors. He was oozing with confidence and arrogance as he walked with Francis and Antonio beside him in their usual positions.<p>

Francis turned to Gilbert as they walked and smiled, "So, mon ami. How was the test in your opinion?"

Gilbert scoffed, a conceited smirk on his face (although it was almost always there anyway) as he examined his bitten-to-the-cuticle nails.

"Pshh, easiest shit ever," Gilbert lied, trying to make it sound like he was better than his friends, like he was on a higher pedestal than them. Or maybe he was trying to be the king and they were merely a group of peasants.

Antonio looked at them both with the usual lively glimmer in his emerald eyes. With a bright, cheerful smile he announced, "I totally failed it!"

Francis leaned across Gilbert to give Antonio an enthusiastic high five, although failing a test that was meant to be involved in deciding their entire future including university wasn't exactly something to be proud of.

Suddenly, Antonio disbanded himself from the group upon seeing Lovino in the corner talk to – or rather, flirt with – some girl he didn't recognise. Without saying his farewells, Antonio started to run up to Lovino, his arms flailing about whilst screaming after him. Francis and Gilbert didn't see much after that, but Lovino appeared to be terrified and running for his dear life.

Any sane human would do the same thing as Lovino, though.

Gilbert scoffed again.

"He just left us," he said bluntly, stating the obvious. A little bit of disappointment was certainly present in his voice. "Didn't say goodbye or anything. Bastard."

Francis nodded, although he disliked bitching about Antonio since they'd been best friends since forever, even before Gilbert came along and decided he wanted to be cool as well.

"Oui, but he's been doing that a lot," Francis nodded in agreement. For once, his tone was a lot more serious than usual and mirrored the same type of disappointment Gilbert had shown.

"He's always leaving us to be with him," Gilbert scowled, sounding genuinely angry about the situation with Antonio. When he said 'him', he said it like it was an item of absolutely no value; like it was nothing more than the dirt off of someone's shoe. "Lovino's not as awesome as we are! What's he got that we don't?"

Francis shrugged, not wanting to start a fight or get Gilbert so worked up he would start ranting about it all day. "Though, I could say the same about you."

Gilbert raised an eyebrow at this. What could Francis possibly mean by that?

"What the fuck is that supposed to mean?" Gilbert yelled, either forgetting or simply not caring about the other students and maybe the odd teachers passing by. His voice was dripping with venom by now; he was extremely irate and Francis was starting to feel pretty intimidated. Gilbert was not a pretty sight when he was intoxicated with pure anger.

Francis tried to protest, "Nothing, nothing!" He even threw his arms up in surrender, which probably wasn't doing all the French jokes any justice.

Gilbert glared at him, snarling a little. He honestly had no idea what Francis had meant by his comment but in his mind he found it to be completely uncalled for.

Was he trying to say that he was becoming like Antonio was with Lovino? Only...he was spending too much time with Gilbert?

He really wanted to add, 'Well, excuse me for trying to help the poor kid!'

But something held him back and he refrained from doing so.

Maybe he valued his and Francis' companionship.

Who knew?

Because Gilbert certainly didn't.

* * *

><p>It was nearing the end of lunch and Gilbert had completely forgotten to eat.<p>

He didn't care all too much, though. Francis had left long ago to go to the lunch hall, where he was probably sat grooming Matthew. The thought of it made Gilbert want to be sick and just burst into the lunch hall to protect him.

To avoid causing too much of a scene and creating too much worthless drama he knew Matthew wouldn't be able to handle, Gilbert decided to calm himself down by going on a short walk around the school.

Big mistake.

Once he turned the corner to go down into another corridor, the art corridor to be precise, the first thing his eyes saw was the familiar trade mark bomber jacket of someone he knew all too well.

The 'fifty' on the back of it stood out like a sore thumb, and that silly cowlick Gilbert could still see even with the owner's back turned was visible, too.

Gilbert started to detest Alfred more and more the more he hung out with Matthew, getting to know his side of the story. He really wasn't in the mood to be dealing with it all.

Everything about Alfred was starting to annoy Gilbert, even if they ironically shared a lot of traits. They were both obnoxious, self-centred people who found it hard to sympathise with others or just simply chose not to.

Maybe that's why they clashed so much.

Gilbert leaned against the wall with his arms folded across the chest as he glowered at Alfred, watching him intently as he spoke to an art teacher about something.

Something Gilbert totally did not care about.

Gilbert waited around until Alfred was done talking to her and maliciously stared at him some more, hoping he'd get noticed by him.

Sure enough, he did, and Alfred caught sight of him pretty quickly, too. Being his usual cheery self, Alfred stopped in front of Gilbert and gave him a friendly smile, waving.

Gilbert waved back, mimicking his smile before suddenly using the hand he was waving to make it into an obscene gesture. Yep, he stuck his middle finger up at him.

Alfred looked at it for a moment, trying to grasp what was going on. He was dumb, but not dumb enough to know that Gilbert had some sort of problem with him, even if he had no idea what said problem was.

"Hey, dude, what's that for?" Alfred asked, pouting a little. "That's not very nice!"

"Don't care," Gilbert muttered, giving him some attitude. He folded his arms again and shot Alfred a disapproving look. "I want to know why."

Alfred raised an eyebrow. He was feeling ever so confused – why did this kid have beef with him?

"Why what?" Alfred questioned, his voice wavering a little. He was also nervously giggling. Gilbert looked _vicious _with that glare, especially with those red eyes of his. They were almost starting to frighten Alfred. Almost.

It wasn't like Alfred couldn't take on people half his size because, well, to put it simply, he could, and it would be a doddle.

"For being a burden in your brother's life," Gilbert replied in the most serious tone he could possibly muster.

Alfred had no idea what a burden was, but it sounded like a bad thing and not a type of food.

"...What about my brother?" Alfred scratched his head in confusion. Had he done something wrong to Matthew? He tried to remember the latest thing he did to Matthew. Well, he did kind of eat Matthew's cookie the previous night but Matthew did forgive him and he did promise to buy Matthew another one, though he knew he never would.

Gilbert, driven by anger, took this the wrong way and thought Alfred was being his usual oblivious self – which was half true. He lunged himself towards him, causing Alfred to subsequently stumble a bit. Gilbert clenched his fists, preparing to punch him square in the jaw.

Or, better yet, where the sun didn't shine, because that hurt a lot more.

Gilbert had thought Alfred didn't remember who his brother was as usual, so he drew his fist back a little, grabbing hold of Alfred's shirt. Alfred squirmed underneath him, almost setting himself free.

He soon gave up when he realised how strong Gilbert was when he was like this, so he closed one eye, expecting the worst and hoping for the best. Just when he thought the fist was going to collide with his face any moment then, he heard a soft voice that resembled his own.

"Don't hurt my brother, Gilbert."

Alfred opened his eye to see Matthew holding back Gilbert's arm. He breathed a sigh of relief as Gilbert loosened his grip on his shirt enough for him to be able to escape – which he did as soon as he was free – and winked at his younger brother.

Once Alfred had left, Gilbert let Matthew drop his arm back into its normal position and he turned to him.

Upon seeing how serene Matthew was despite saying the words so seriously, Gilbert instantly calmed down. He let out a deep sigh, feeling ashamed of himself. God...everything was pissing him off so much today. Maybe he was having a man-period or something.

Though that wasn't possible, so that wasn't a likely excuse at all.

"What were you doing?" Matthew asked, his voice sounding as if he was pleading. Sure, he disliked Alfred sometimes too, but only when he did something wrong. It was that sort of relationship where, if someone tried to touch either one's brother in a way that would cause them harm, then they would be the first person to protect them.

Gilbert couldn't think of a reasonable way to defend himself so he stammered, "I w-wanted to show him who's boss."

Matthew tilted his head in confusion.

"But he didn't do anything wrong."

Gilbert chuckled, not obnoxiously but very quietly under his breath as he pulled Matthew into a hug. Matthew let himself be wrapped in Gilbert's arms, which he admitted was such a nice, secure place to be that offered him a lot of protection he needed, and didn't feel any rage at all.

Gilbert didn't either. It was almost as if Matthew had completely pacified him.

"I was being too hasty," Gilbert confessed. "Long day, is all. Did you get my text?"

Matthew looked up at Gilbert, his violet eyes suddenly beginning to sparkle. He nodded, "I did, but I didn't want to get you into trouble so I didn't text back."

"Oh," came Gilbert's reply. Gilbert understood, although he really wouldn't have cared if it would have gotten in trouble or even kicked out of the test. If it meant Matthew would talk to him, then he really, really wouldn't have minded.

"Yeah," Matthew sighed, his eyes diverting to the ground. He bit on his lip, chewing it and moving it around in circular motions as he began to feel very awkward indeed.

"I'm sorry," Gilbert suddenly apologised, pulling Matthew closer to him. Matthew relaxed, although feeling startled at the sudden gesture of affection, letting Gilbert take him into his arms.

As Matthew listened to the sound of Gilbert's heartbeat, which was like music to his ears, he whispered, "Don't be. Just try not to let your anger get the best of you."

Gilbert separated from Matthew a little, not pulling apart the hug completely but just enough to give them both space to breathe, leaning down a little so that their lips were close enough to touch each other were they to pucker up and push them out.

Matthew took a deep breath, feeling uncomfortable with the proximity yet strangely content with it. All kinds of emotions ran through him – he was feeling awkward yet happy simultaneously.

Gilbert started to stroke Matthew's wavy hair, tangling his fingers in them carefully so that he wouldn't get them too tangled that it would hurt to remove them.

"Matthew..." Gilbert whispered. Well, sort of whispered. Gilbert was a naturally loud person, so even his whisper was a few decibels short of a normal person shouting. Okay, maybe that was an exaggeration, but he still whispered pretty loud, compared to Matthew anyway.

"Yes, Gilbert?" Matthew replied, his whole body flushing and feeling extremely weak all of a sudden. His cheeks were tainted a light shade of pink as Gilbert said his name. He always loved it when Gilbert said his name, even though he'd been saying it for a total of four weeks now. It was always nice to be remembered.

Gilbert closed his eyes, took in some air before exhaling it, and moved his lips closer to Matthew's.

* * *

><p><strong>Haha cliff-hanger lol –gets eggs thrown at her-<strong>

**Yay character development and we're getting to the good stuff woo**

**I wish I could have written this better, I really wish . I wanted to upload something though to sustain my reader's interest ahh. Also the temptation to update was niggling me so much that I just had to write this.**

**TL;DR: Basically, everyone's angry with each other. Francis and Gilbert are angry at Antonio whilst Gilbert's angry at Francis who's getting angry at Gilbert who's also pretty angry at Alfred. **

**Well, a great man once did say: "LET'S GET ANGRY TOGETHER." /lol shot/**

**See you next chapter! Hope you didn't abandon this! Thanks for all your feedback. I love you. We should marry.**

**Hasta la Pasta~!**


	7. It's a Long Shot

**A/N: I'm so sorry for lack of updates ;_; Please don't kill me**

**I've been too busy roleplaying, then I got writer's block and then I forgot I had stories to update...but I'm back!**

**I started writing this late last night, as in midnight which is the perfect time for writin', but I got caught by my dad and had to go to bed...so I finished it when I got home from school. **

**-crickets because readers probably all left-**

**DISCLAIMER: Hetalia does and will not belong to me. If it did, then...ah shoot, I got nothin'.**

* * *

><p><em>Chapter Seven – It's a Long Shot<em>

Matthew stood in the hall, looking dazed and dumbfounded. His cheeks were a dark shade of pink, almost red. He rested one hand on his cheek to feel heat emitting from it. A lot of heat, actually. He felt as if his entire face was on fire, burning like a yuletide log.

Gilbert had left. He'd left a few minutes ago. Matthew counted – two and a half minutes ago.

In the midst of his absence, Matthew could still feel his lips tingle. It was like Gilbert never left.

He could recall the kiss. He could recall it well, even going into detail. Vivid detail. The image had been burnt into his mind and the feeling was forever locked away in his heart. Maybe in the pits of his stomach too, where butterflies once resided, fluttering crazily. They'd left now; they'd left around the time Gilbert did.

Gilbert's lips were soft, but they were also tantalising. It felt so wrong yet so right, so bad yet so good. Everything about it was a chocolate coated sin. Matthew resisted for a few split seconds before giving in and he kissed him back. He was gentle and careful; Gilbert had a much rougher way of kissing him yet still it remained so...so serene. So peaceful. So beautiful.

Matthew's heart was now sinking back down into its usual place after remaining trapped in his throat for a while, beating at an abnormally pace, rivalling the speed of a race car. His blood rushed through his veins rapidly, the adrenaline surging through him, giving him a sweet tingling sensation all over like the way his lips felt now.

Gilbert was the first to pull his lips back. He did not separate entirely from Matthew; he kept holding onto his shoulders, his grasp firm but calm. He had a small blush on his face...well, compared to the massive one on Matthew's face, that was. He made eye contact with Matthew for a few short moments before drawing back, standing a few inches away from him.

Matthew was panting slightly, but it wasn't noticeable unless you were standing extremely close to him. He felt as flustered as he looked and that definitely was noticeable. Gilbert chuckled at him, whispered something about how adorable he looked before waving, turning around and walking away.

Matthew didn't stop him or even attempt to and just stood there, not knowing how to feel, not knowing what to think, not knowing where to go.

Until he was saved by the bell.

* * *

><p>"Who's there?"<p>

"J-Just me, Alfred..."

"Alright, come in."

Matthew tentatively opened the door, flinching as it made a rather obnoxious creak. He gently closed it behind him, careful not to slam it. Their father was sleeping downstairs and waking him was never a good idea, no matter how funny it could possibly be.

He looked over at his brother who was laying on his bed, one leg hanging off. He was playing on his Xbox whilst stuffing his face with junk (no surprise there). On his stomach was a comic book laying face down, and he was surrounded by a further four. Matthew wondered how he could survive in an environment like this, especially since Alfred's floor was barely visible thanks to the dirty clothing, many comic books, video games and wrappers. His bin was overflowing with McDonald's bags, yet he still managed to stay so thin and muscular.

...How?

Matthew stood awkwardly by Alfred's bed, not knowing where to take a seat. Alfred didn't acknowledge him and continued to eat and defeat zombies. Matthew cleared his throat in an attempt to get attention which, surprisingly, worked on the first try.

"Dude, take a seat," he muttered, moving his leg onto the bed and shuffling over a little bit to make some room. Matthew hesitantly joined him, lying next to him. They were close, their feet scraping against each other's.

"Alfred...about Gilbert..." Matthew began, quieter than usual. He began to fidget with his hands, already starting to feel nervous. He had no idea about what he was going to say – he hadn't thought this through. He was so tempted to just get up and leave, hoping Alfred would forget this ever happened, since that was usually the case.

"Don't worry," Alfred replied almost immediately. "I'm cool. Since when were you all buddy-buddy with him anyway?"

Matthew gulped. What would he say? What should he say?

He erased all memory of their kiss and decided to focus on all their friendly moments. Ones that didn't involve hugs and romantic suggestions...

"Ah...about a month now," Matthew explained simply, awkwardly grinning. He twiddled with his thumbs, his eyes darting all around the room. "I was walking home one day and passed him and...yeah."

Alfred raised an eyebrow.

"And...yeah? Was he with anyone or did he just randomly approach you?" Alfred asked, not taking his eyes off the screen. Damn him for asking that.

Matthew swallowed hard like he did previously. Much to his dismay, he began to blush as images of their kiss re-entered his mind. To shield his embarrassment, he looked away quickly, hoping Alfred wouldn't notice. Thankfully enough, his eyes were glued to his video game. It would take a lot to remove him from his video games; even surgery wasn't enough.

"Francis saw me and..." his voice trailed off, each word quieter than the last.

"And what?" Alfred prompted, vigorously hitting the buttons and twisting the joystick madly. He never broke his concentration, which was odd for someone whose attention span was that of a gnat.

"He said hi..." Matthew continued, his voice full of uncertainty. Why was he asking so many questions? He felt as if Alfred was the police who was interrogating him incessantly. "And Gilbert wanted to hang with me...now we're friends."

Alfred paused the game.

Matthew flinched.

That meant he was serious.

"How can you be friends with _him_?" Alfred spat, a whole new personality taking over him. A much more aggressive Alfred had been left in his place and, quite frankly, it was scary. Extremely scary.

Matthew's head sunk as did his heart. He looked down at his lap and swallowed again, forgetting how to speak.

Alfred glared at him intently, not taking his glance off of him once, for a few seconds before sighing and throwing the controller down onto the bed. For such a light object, it landed with a large thump. Matthew watched silently as Alfred darted around the room, scouring for whatever he needed.

A few short but agonising seconds later Alfred emerged from under his bed with his trademark bomber jacket. He glared again at Matthew as he pulled it onto his body.

"He's a bad influence," Alfred bluntly told him, his voice barely proceeding a whisper, which was rare. Matthew couldn't tell whether his tone was concerned or not. "I don't want you hanging around with him, 'specially after what he did today. Tell dad I'm out. I don't know where, he can call me if he wants though."

With that, Alfred walked over to his door and opened it. Matthew turned to him and yelled (or at least attempted to), "Are you going to answer your phone?"

"Probably not."

* * *

><p>Matthew squinted his eyes as he peered over the bridge, admiring the sparkling sapphire ocean that seemed to stretch out for miles. The colour was a gorgeous array of bright, vibrant colours; it was a perfect dusk. Almost perfect.<p>

Matthew was still in shock. Why had Alfred said that? Why was Alfred so disapproving? Matthew didn't want to approach Alfred for the answers, especially since he had no way of contacting him whatsoever (plus Alfred doubted he'd even pick up) plus he was far too afraid. Alfred angry was never a good thing. It was best to stay on his good side and just keep his mouth shut.

As the warm air scraped gracefully past Matthew's cheek, he felt something else grace his cheek.

A kiss.

A soft, short kiss that still managed to be so blissful.

Without moving his eyes at all, he felt two arms wrap around his waist, pulling him backwards. He let himself be pulled and fell into the arms behind him. It was enough to calm him down, but not enough to make him forget.

Because he promised to never forget. Being forgotten hurt. Matthew knew the feeling. He knew it too well. The feeling and him were more than acquaintances. They'd had a full history with each other but maybe their relationship was coming to an end. Maybe.

"You called me?" came the voice behind him.

Matthew couldn't speak. He nodded instead, even though he knew it was pointless. Gilbert rested his head on Matthew's shoulder and nuzzled affectionately against his neck, tightening his grip as if he was too afraid to let go in case Matthew fell or suddenly disintegrated into thin air.

"What's up?"

Matthew let out a long, fed up sigh. "A lot."

"You can tell me."

"It's a long story."

"I have time."

_Dammit._

Matthew tried to loosen the protective grip Gilbert had on him but failed. He was simply too strong and Matthew was simply too weak.

"...I don't want to talk about it," Matthew finally answered after a short pause. It wasn't entirely silent; the water underneath them was splashing about gently and the birds weren't exactly quiet either.

"Not awesome," Gilbert scoffed disapprovingly. "Why not?"

Matthew was starting to become irritated but decided to keep his feelings to himself. He didn't want to distress Gilbert, though staying silent wasn't exactly helping. He'd become paranoid lately that he was going to lose Gilbert, thus tried his best to preserve their relationship even though somewhere deep down inside of him knew there was no point. Going back now was impossible.

Matthew knew Gilbert valued their company just as much as he did. He was as easy to read as a book – Matthew, on the other hand, hid so many feelings it was hard to decipher exactly how he felt. He refused to tell you unless you really prompted him.

"I just..." Matthew bit his lip and thought hard for a good excuse. It wasn't exactly lying, was it? "I just...don't know how to explain it."

Gilbert opened his mouth to speak before closing it like a goldfish. He sighed, defeated.

"Alright," he gave in. "But if you don't tell me now, tell me later, kay?"

Matthew nodded, letting out a soft 'kay' in response.

"Turn around," Gilbert whispered in his ear, loosening his grip significantly, enough for him to be able to actually breathe. Matthew did as he was told without arguing and looked up into his eyes. They were sparkling like the water and Matthew could make out the sun's reflection in them. Gilbert's eyes were, for lack of a better word, pretty.

Gilbert grabbed Matthew's wrist, perhaps a little too forcefully, and thrusted a ring into Matthew's hand. He looked down at it for a few seconds, incredulous, before slipping it onto his fingers.

"Like it?" Gilbert asked, his voice somehow dripping with arrogance. The smirk on his face was back; it was always plastered into his face when around other people but sometimes, only sometimes, he would drop it around Matthew.

Sometimes, his smirk faded into a smile around Matthew.

Matthew liked that. No, he _loved_ that.

"Y-Yes," Matthew replied, mentally slapping himself for the stammer. It sounded like his answer was fake, but luckily Gilbert was too dense to pick up on it.

"I'm glad," Gilbert said. There it was – his smile was there, not his smirk. It made him look so much more attractive when he was smiling and not smirking.

Matthew started to twist it before asking, "But what does it symbolise?"

Gilbert picked Matthew's free hand up and interlocked their fingers. He rubbed his thumb against Matthew's reassuringly.

"Us."

And no one was going to tear them apart.

Even if there were no guard surrounding the both of them, they still couldn't be separate. They just couldn't.

They were inseparable.

And that was never going to change.

Right?

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Phew! I'm so glad I managed to update~**

**Sorry if it seems a bit short. Writer's block is a bitch and I really had no idea how to continue without rushing it. I really want to take my time with this, that's why Matthew's not aware of Gilbert's upcoming death. I doubt Gilbert's aware either.**

**I apologise for the long wait once again! I'll try to update more frequently, but I can't make any promises...**

**Hasta la Pasta~!**


	8. Indestructible

_Chapter Eight – Indestructible _

"Dad."

Arthur turned around at the sound of a voice. Although the voice was quiet, it had a sense of sternness to it.

"Ah, Alfred, there you are," Arthur smiled as he continued to whisk whatever was in the bowl. Knowing Arthur's disastrous cooking skills (or lack thereof), it was better left unsaid. "I have been calling you for the past"- Arthur quickly glanced at his watch –"Half an hour now! I require some assistance."

Internally, Matthew snarled, and thought horrible things. He thought about how much he wanted to snap at Arthur for confusing him for his brother once again.

He let his anger wane before opening his mouth, scared he'd say the wrong thing only to realise he was far too passive aggressive and nice to snap, despite all he'd endured.

"Matthew," he simply corrected, nodding as he did so, glaring at Arthur. He thought it was menacing and was meant to make Arthur learn a lesson, but his efforts failed and he looked more endearing than anything.

It took a while for Arthur to understand before his eyes widened in realisation.

"I do apologise, Matthew," he said sincerely, although Matthew could tell by the look in his eyes his father wasn't as sorry as he seemed. "It seems I forget you far too much."

_You really think so? _Matthew sarcastically remarked in his head, wanting so desperately to be able to say it out loud without fear.

"It's alright, father," his mind betrayed him by saying the opposite of what he felt. No, it wasn't alright for his own father to forget who he was, especially since he'd done it far too many times now. How many times was it now? Matthew had lost count. "You're getting old, I understand."

Arthur frowned. He stopped whisking and opened his mouth to protest but instead sighed, putting the bowl down. "Yes, I concur. It appears I'm becoming a senile old man."

Matthew knew that wasn't the reason, but he nodded anyway.

"Yeah," was the only thing Matthew could think of responding with. "Anyway, I came to ask you a question."

"A question, hmm?" Arthur walked over to Matthew and rested his hand on Matthew's shoulder. "Alright, I have nothing better to do."

His tone was sarcastic as he gestured towards the bowl.

Matthew sighed and chose to ignore that comment and accompanying gesture (or at least pretended to ignore it).

"Is it alright if I…" Matthew paused as he fiddled with his hands, contemplating the right words to say. Whenever he spoke, he felt like he was just jumbling words together and calling the outcome a sentence although it clearly wasn't. "I go out…tonight?"

The look on Arthur's face was priceless.

Matthew, go out somewhere? Despite the fact Arthur seemed to know very little about Matthew due to his constant forgetting, he knew his son wasn't the social butterfly his other one was.

"With a friend, I presume?" Arthur asked after a short awkward silence. During that silence, Matthew was scared the answer would be no, and Arthur was just trying to process what Matthew had just asked him.

"Of course, dad," Matthew replied, wondering what the problem was.

Arthur folded his arms and hummed in thought, leaning over slightly. He had so many questions resounding in his head, but thought it was best to give his child some freedom for once without feeling as if he were interrogating him all the time.

He was used to reprimanding Alfred, but never Matthew.

Matthew was a good boy.

Perhaps that's why he was always forgotten; no one remembers the good things.

* * *

><p>The wind blew through Matthew's long, wavy hair, his curls caressing his face. The sea breeze whistled and hugged him as it flew by, keeping him warm enough to stand the bitterness of winter just a little while longer.<p>

He took a quick glance at his watch; how long had he been waiting for?

It must have been about ten minutes, maybe even fifteen, now.

He kept looking around, desperately searching and observing his surroundings, but he was surrounded by nothing more than darkness, sand and the ocean peacefully dancing. The stars twinkled and the moon bounced off the waves, illuminating Matthew as he stood watching the beauty in front of him.

It was times like these he really appreciated Earth and its wonderfulness.

Despite his melancholy state – oh, how he loathed his solitude sometimes - he smiled, capturing the image painted in front of him with his mind.

Suddenly, he heard a loud and rather obnoxious voice behind him calling his name. The voice kept drawing closer and soon it was so close there was no denying whom it belonged to.

"Matthew!" the voice said one last time before the owner engulfed Matthew in an embrace so tight and so sudden it startled Matthew yet pleased him simultaneously. His heart skipped a few beats, his cheeks grew hot, the blood in his veins surged faster, and his knees buckled.

Matthew wrapped his arms around Gilbert, soaking in his warmth.

It had been a few months since they had last been able to see each other this way.

Why?

Reasons neither of them wanted to speak about.

Reasons that would never be discussed, never again.

They were here, together, and that's all that mattered to them.

"I've missed you," Matthew whispered, hoping his words were strong enough to travel up to Gilbert's ear. They were soft and made Gilbert's heart swell.

Gilbert ran his fingers through Matthew's hair. "I've missed you too, meine liebe."

Matthew chuckled; oh, how he loved being spoken to in German. It felt so personal, like Gilbert was being sincere.

In that moment, it felt like they were the last two people on earth.

The only people on earth.

The only people that mattered to them were each other.

Nobody was going to break them, nobody was going to cut the red ribbon that connected them.

Nobody, not even the strongest man to have ever lived, could tear them apart.

They were indestructible, never to be broken, never to be separated.

…Right?

* * *

><p><strong>AN: I would like to apologise for taking so long to update. My interest in fanfiction may have waned, but my love for Hetalia surely didn't!**

**Also, I wanna say sorry for this short chapter. I shall be explaining the 'reasons' for them not being allowed to see each other in the next chapter. I will try my best to update it soon so you don't you worry your pretty little minds~**

**Taylor Swift reference is Taylor Swift. THAT DOESN'T EVEN MAKE ANY SENSE.**

**But yes.**

**I would like to thank you all for reading and staying with me. I appreciate your feedback. You guys are so nice to me, I thought it'd be the kind thing to do to update. I love you all~!**


	9. Unbreakable?

**A/N: I'm surprised most are still following this – I really appreciate that! It's a lovely welcome back. Speaking of welcome, I'd like to thank all my new readers also. Haha, I'm sorry for making you so sad from the first chapter alone, but in all honesty that made me happy; I don't get pleasure out of your pain or anything, it just shows me my writing's powerful enough to affect people's emotions, you know what I mean?**

**So, here is chapter nine, or as I like to call it 8.5 as it describes what I kept a secret in chapter eight.**

**It's more from Alfred's perspective in order to explain what's happened, and we head back to the present day. On with the show!**

* * *

><p><em><span>Chapter 8.5 – Unbreakable?<span>_

"Mattie? You in here?"

Alfred called out, but the only reply was echoes bouncing against the walls and finding their way back to him, just like a boomerang.

Stubbornly, he shouted again. "Mattie, come on."

He inched closer to the bedroom belonging to Matthew, mentally debating whether to knock first or go in with no concerns for privacy.

He didn't even have to hesitate before deciding; he intruded.

Matthew was huddled in the corner, a blanket covering most of his pyjama clad body. Only his face and hands were exposed. Although the room was dimly lit, Alfred could clearly see what Matthew was holding in his hands, and what was shining on his face.

In his hand was a photograph. What was printed on aforementioned photograph to Alfred was still a mystery – however, as slow as he was, it wouldn't take a genius to realise he was crying whilst his eyes were fixated on a photograph.

Obviously it was a photograph of either Gilbert on his own, or Matthew with Gilbert, his precious Gilbert.

Alfred felt his whole body flush with a wave of remorse, a wave of guilt. He sighed and gently inched closer to Matthew.

Matthew saw a presence move, only a shadow lingering to his eye, and flinched, squeaking in fear involuntarily. Alfred couldn't help but chuckle; he was about as threatening as a teddy bear.

"Relax," Alfred wore a convincingly reassuring tone. "It's just me, Alfred. You know, your brother, Alfred."

Matthew wiped away his tears with the blankets and feigned happiness. Carefully he placed the photograph on the floor (he was about to throw it in order to hide his feelings, but realised he would never want to damage or taint such a sacred, significant thing) and turned his head, bracing himself for a conversation.

Or a question.

_Can I copy your homework, Matthew? Can I borrow your money and never pay you back, Matthew?_

Alfred signed again and crouched down next to Matthew, putting his hand on his shoulder.

Matthew opened his mouth to speak but Alfred quickly hushed him.

"I'm not here for money and I'm not here to copy your homework," Alfred informed him, a smirk on his face that evidently was meant to be taken as 'I know what you're thinking and you're wrong.'

A soft 'oh' escaped from Matthew's lips, and he twiddled with his thumbs. Through the corner of his eye, he glanced at the photograph and bit his lip, resisting the urge to cry. He always felt as if his tears had all run out, all evaporated, since he'd been crying so much recently but every time he was proven wrong. Every time.

It was like an endless waterfall pouring from his eyes whenever he cried, no matter how big of a drought he thought he was in.

"Then…what do you want, Alfred?" Matthew whispered, his voice obviously weak and cracking like he was going through puberty again.

"I just wanna…" Alfred began before stopping abruptly. His eyes darted around the room and he leaned in closer to Matthew before whispering, "You know, apologise."

Matthew's eyes widened. Wow, he had to record this moment after it had finished! Seldom did Alfred apologise for his actions; he always had the whole 'screw you, I do what I want!' attitude.

"Apologise?" Matthew repeated, cocking his head to the side slightly like a confused dog. "For what? That time you broke my neck? That time you twisted my arm so badly I had to go to hospital and stay overnight? That time when-"

Alfred groaned and quickly interrupted him.

"No!" he replied loudly, sounding quite irritated. "I mean…I just…wanna say sorry for…uh…that thing I did! Yeah."

Matthew rolled his eyes. "What thing, Alfred? You've done a lot of things…"

"You know what I mean."

"…I don't, actually…be a little more specific, huh?"

Alfred sighed, admitting defeat – very weird of him. He wasn't the type to immediately go with plan Z – for him, that was getting the white flag out and waving it around. He wasn't the type to surrender, especially not to his brother.

"Fine, I'm sorry for keeping you and Gilbert apart," Alfred said all out once. The words were incoherent to Matthew as they were uttered in a fashion as bustled as New York City.

"Do you think you could repeat that?" Matthew asked meekly, scared to be asking that question. "I didn't quite catch that."

Alfred groaned again and took a deep breath, repeating his previous sentence at a slower, more coherent pace.

Matthew's heart stopped beating in his chest and he gulped. He quickly turned away, biting his lip. Even the name Gilbert was hard to hear now, whether it was referring to his Gilbert or not.

"Oh…" was all he could say. Matthew hugged his knees and rested his face in there. "It's okay, Alfred. I've forgiven you."

Alfred smiled and wrapped his arms around Matthew. At first, Matthew froze and stiffened before relaxing and falling into Alfred, enjoying his company, enjoying his compassion.

"That's good, because I've been feeling mighty awful about what I did," Alfred revealed, holding Matthew tighter. He picked up the photograph and stared at it. Sure enough, his thoughts were confirmed; Matthew was wrapped up in Gilbert's arms, smiling, his eyes twinkling. Alfred had never seen that before.

Matthew breathed deeply. So many questions circulated around in his head. Why was he so guilty? He only brought them closer together in the end.

"Listen, dude," Alfred whispered even though he knew he had no need to, "I didn't realise you two were…like that, you know? I guess I let my own hatred for the guy get the better of me. I really don't get how you forgave me."

"You're my brother," Matthew simply answered. Alfred anticipated more, but realised that was all Matthew was going to say and continued.

"And I…when I realised you two were, uh, like that, I guess I had a lot more sympathy for you," Alfred smiled, his feelings somehow becoming so much easier to express than before. It was like they were rolling off his tongue naturally. "Because I'm in love myself. I think this girl's the one."

"I'm happy for you, Alfred," Matthew smiled back. "I wish you two the best."

"Thanks, dude," Alfred beamed, suddenly returning to his old smug self. "But anyway, again, I'm sorry."

"Alfred, I've already told you; it's fine!"

* * *

><p>"What the hell is your brother's problem?"<p>

Matthew shrugged. "Gilbert, I don't know. He just started a fight with me and ended it by saying, 'I don't want you hanging around with Gilbert. He's bad news.' I know he just wants the best for me, but…"

"Just wants the best for you?" Gilbert repeated in a harsh tone. "That's exactly what I want."

"Do you think you're best for me?" Matthew asked tentatively.

Gilbert smirked initially before dropping it just a second later. "That's not for me to decide, Mattie. But personally? Yeah. Do you think I'm best for you?"

Matthew's cheeks flushed as he struggled to find the words. Gilbert had literally rendered him speechless.

Gilbert looked at Matthew both ominously and expectantly, so Matthew knew he had to say something and soon.

Instead, he realised actions spoke louder than words.

Matthew snuggled up to Gilbert, nuzzling against his neck. Gilbert wrapped his arms around Matthew in return, holding him closer to his chest. Matthew rested his head there; it was like a warm pillow, and the soft tune of Gilbert's heartbeat was enough to make Matthew feel lethargic. He closed his eyes and Gilbert ran his fingers through Matthew's hair, stroking softly.

"I'll take that as a yes," Gilbert chuckled. A soft giggle came from the sleepy, happy curled up ball beside him.

"Gilbert," the word was muffled, but to Gilbert it still sounded like the best thing on the planet.

"Ja?"

"If this is the last moment we get to hold each other, then I don't want it to end," Matthew internally cringed at his cheesiness, a visible blush forming on his cheeks. "I wanna stay here forever."

Gilbert sighed. "Yeah, I do too. It's almost as awesome as I am."

Matthew giggled.

"I'll see you again someday," he fought back tears, although his voice was growing week.

"Yeah…"

Gilbert had so many things to say, so many arguments to share, so many insults to spit and so many battle to fight and consequently prevail.

But time was running out.

The battle was over.

Alfred had won.

Would Gilbert forgive him? He didn't know.

He didn't wanna think about that.

Because once this moment of bliss, of ecstasy, had reached its inevitable climax, Gilbert's hand felt empty.

His soul felt empty.

Matthew felt the same way, as much as he hid it with a smile.

"If we never see each other again, don't forget me, please," Matthew begged with tears in my eyes.

"I won't."

Because, deep down, Gilbert knew they'd meet again someday.

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><p><strong>AN: Yay foreshadowing**

**One dimensional characters are one dimensional...frick, I've gotta start remembering how to write in character because it seems I've forgotten. In all honesty, I haven't actually watched or roleplayed Hetalia in forever. :T**

**Okay, so this is basically what happened before the previous chapter. I really should have written it first, but a) I like being annoying and surprising you all with plot twists and b) I only got the idea halfway through writing the last one, haha.**

**But yeah, here you go. Thank you all for your feedback and continued support, but we've still got so long to go!**

**During the time they were apart, Gilbert…well, I'll write about that later.**

**Keep on being awesome!**


	10. How Bad Can This Be?

**A/N: Hey, everyone! TiaahTurbulence here…well, Iggymonster now, since I'm more commonly referred to as that now. **

**Here is chapter 9! Well, technically it's chapter 10, although the last chapter was considered more 8.5.**

**Thank you for all your kind reviews so far; I look forward to hearing from you. I really appreciate your feedback!**

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><p><em><span>Chapter 9 – How Bad Can This Be?<span>_

Gilbert lay in his bed, his head sinking into the pillow underneath him. The pillow was soft as candyfloss, and he felt as light as air…yet his heart felt so heavy, like an anchor pulling him down from his high.

He sighed as he felt the empty space next to him. Just a few hours ago it had been warm. He thought the warmth would at least still have faint traces, but apparently he was wrong. He didn't want to admit that though – his pride just wouldn't let him. He kept feeling around, frantically and desperately searching for the warmth provided by his love, his darling, his _world _before groaning both in defeat and disgust.

Never had he let emotions engulf him like this. Never had he let such romantic, disgusting, _terrifying _thoughts consume his mind.

His whole world seemed to revolve around Matthew, and it was so bright, so wonderful, so colourful, with him in it. But now he was gone, and all the colour was drained from that utopia. The flowers had been replaced with weeds, the sky was now a dark shade of grey, and the air was nothing more than smog.

Gilbert rolled onto his side, lamenting over everything that had happened merely a few hours ago. He swallowed hard, knowing he was too strong to cry and yet he felt so weak. He wasn't sure if he ever would see Matthew again. Of course, there was school, but Gilbert knew how protective Alfred could be of those he loved. Alfred would probably follow Matthew around like a lost puppy. Wait, no, scratch that – Alfred would probably put a collar on Matthew and strap a leash on him, careful to not let him out of his sight.

Gilbert chuckled at the mental image as much as he didn't want to, before anger bubbled up inside of him. He clenched his fists and so many violent thoughts slithered around his head.

Who did Alfred think he is to snatch one of Gilbert's prized possessions away? How dare he hurt Gilbert this way. Gilbert pulled a face – _hurt. _He'd never felt that emotion so strongly before. He'd always deny it, always take the pain and coat it with anger instead. The anger inside of him boiled and bubbled before suddenly fading, being replaced with a new, alien feeling.

Gilbert didn't know how to describe it.

Gilbert didn't know this feeling existed.

Suddenly, humanity took its toll and the anger inside of him evaporated, slowly and gradually fading into something he assumed was sadness.

He choked, holding the pillow to his chest, pretending it was Matthew in his arms.

Why did he feel this way? He was so confused. He'd never felt like _this _before. No one had ever given him such butterflies, no one had ever deflated his ego in such a good way. Usually when his ego was deflated it was a horrible thing, but when Matthew was around it felt like his cares for himself – and only himself – fluttered away. He cared more for Matthew than he cared for himself, but why?

His eyes widened, although he knew they should be closing. He had a long day ahead of him tomorrow.

He rolled over onto his other side, taking the pillow with him, subconsciously stroking it, hoping it would be what he needed to calm him down. He took a deep breath before slowly loosening his grip and putting the pillow back, slamming his head onto it and hiding himself under the covers.

He wasn't a pansy! Gilbert was a man, a manly man at that, and suppressing his feelings was the only way to retain his masculinity.

Matthew was delicate, yes, but in all honesty not all too feminine. He had the right amount of testosterone to attract Gilbert's attention, to make his heart soar.

He still didn't understand the feeling.

Maybe this feeling wasn't meant to be understood, but embraced instead?

Maybe the rumours were true.

Maybe the stories, the fairytales he'd heard about (but not read, of course), all about love were true.

Was he in love? He honestly didn't know, he didn't know what love was supposed to feel like. But he certainly wasn't complaining over this feeling, not at all!

The only thing he was mentally complaining about was the loss of Matthew. It was almost as if he had died. He was still there, he still existed, he was still alive, but he wasn't _there, _and Gilbert doubted any possibility of ever being with him again.

As much as he didn't want to admit it, that was slowly killing him.

Unbeknownst to him, that was about to become literal.

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><p>Matthew had been hoping to see Gilbert around school, even if they weren't allowed to speak to each other.<p>

Alfred at first was quite protective, making sure Matthew wouldn't sneak off and eat with him at lunch, but that only lasted a month.

Three weeks after Alfred told Matthew to stop seeing Gilbert, Gilbert suddenly stopped turning up to school.

Was he upset? Nah, that wasn't like Gilbert. It wasn't like Gilbert at all.

Alfred shrugged it off, thinking he was either skipping or just too lazy to come to school. He may have come down with the flu or something similar, since it was that time of year.

A month passed and there was still no sign of Gilbert. Alfred wasn't sure what to think. Had Gilbert moved schools? Was he just that pissed off with school that he didn't even bother showing up anymore?

Alfred didn't know why he was so concerned or fretting so much, but the look on his brother's face every day was something that both saddened and worried Alfred.

Matthew, he had noticed, was suddenly a lot quieter if that was possible, and couldn't look Alfred in the eye properly anymore. He felt terrible, guilty in fact, and wondered why he had denied Matthew the right to see him. Alfred was little more than a brother to him – he wasn't Arthur. Only Arthur had the authority to tell Matthew who he could and couldn't be friends with.

Alfred started to suspect there was something going on between Gilbert and Matthew, since he'd heard the rumours too, and he wasn't sure where he stood on the matter. He was definitely in denial about it though. His brother, dating another guy? Preposterous! Arthur wouldn't like that, he wouldn't like that one bit! Alfred wasn't all too homophobic, but Arthur's morals were strict and differed from his own. They often conflicted about that, and their differing opinions often started a lot of quarrels.

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><p>Early one Saturday morning, roughly three months after Gilbert and Matthew's last moment together, Alfred sat on the sofa in his pyjamas, phone in one hand and TV remote in the other, engrossed in the cartoons playing on TV. There was nothing else better on TV due to the timing of course, but he'd been up all night and consumed far too many energy drinks to sleep now, so he just went with it.<p>

He heard a rustling which startled him enough for him to stand up and gasp slightly, before looking at the clock and realising it was just the postman.

Alfred giggled at his own reaction before walking to the front door. He decided he would be helpful today – he wasn't in the best mood to get into any squabbles with his father and/or his brother, and collecting the post was a good start.

As he threw the post onto the living room table, one envelope caught his eye. It was red, different to all the other boring white envelopes, and kind of scruffy. The writing matched that, and Alfred gaped as he saw it was addressed to Matthew.

Matthew didn't usually get letters, so Alfred was kind of curious.

He held it in his hands, his eyes darting around the room, contemplating whether to open it or not. How bad could it be? After a moment of heavy pondering, he carefully opened it, making sure to not rip or tear it in fear of being caught.

He'd always been a naturally nosy person and he'd always let his curiosity get the better of him. When the envelope was open, quite neatly in fact (which Alfred was very proud of), he took a deep breath and began reading the letter.

He quickly realised it was from Gilbert; the writing was very recognisable. His eyes widened as he read, before he sat, mouth agape, in shock.

"Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit…" he muttered, throwing the letter onto the table once he'd finished reading.

His heart raced and a lump formed in his throat.

"I can't show this to Matthew…" Alfred whimpered, shoving the letter back into the envelope as quickly as possible, not caring about the fact he was creasing it very badly.

What he had just read would kill Matthew – it'd probably hurt his father too, knowing his stance on sexuality. He wanted to burn the letter, eat it, bury it, hide it somewhere – anything to get rid of it before Matthew saw it.

Suddenly, Alfred heard a familiar sleepy voice in the doorframe.

"Can't show what to Matthew?"

Alfred blinked, staring innocently into space, mouth still agape; he had no idea how to reply.

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><p><strong>AN: Ooh, cliffhanger!**

**I once again apologise for the late update. Writer's block and fandom switches, you see. Those hindrances truly are the banes of my existence. I think it's fairly obvious what fandom I've switched over to with the title of this chapter, heh. **

**I also apologise for the rushed ending. I warn you now, the next chapter may get emotional – at least, I hope it will. I want this story to make an impact, so I hope I can do it well. That will take a lot of time and effort, so I don't know when this will be updated. It could take days, it could take weeks, it could even take months.**

**I would like to thank all of those who are still reading! This chapter is fairly short so I can satisfy you before getting into the main plot of this story. This is the build up to that, I suppose. The next chapter will finally be mentioning the main plot device.**

**Alright, so, yeah, there you have it! I hope you enjoyed it, and I apologise for the length and rushed ending. I really did just wanna get this out there as quick as possible, since this is probably considered a filler chapter. Once again, the main issue is finally addressed next chapter.**

**Thank you all for your patience; it truly does mean a lot to me.**

**Hasta la pasta! ~ Iggymonster**


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